Almost one year into the pandemic, countless lives lost, and lockdowns continue to be imposed. I remember when the virus first reared its ugly head as revolutions began to erupt worldwide; fixated on the news I watched and fell deeper and deeper into the abyss. Fear, dread, paranoia, and depression chaotically swirled within my every atom. Shortly after the WHO advised the wearing of masks, and countries mandated it along with social distancing.
The world began emitting an apocalyptic vibe: food shortages, economic collapses, closures, medical tents, and deserted cities. Being in a country already facing government corruption, economic collapse, unemployment, capital control, revolution, and severe poverty, I was thrown into survival mode.
Food and gasoline shortages, and no way of getting money into the country, my mind carried me through dark days, and the path to my recovery began with planting. I thought if food shortages intensified and the monetary system continued collapsing, I’d have my own vegetables and fruits for sustenance. Every morning I tended to my plants; I played music for them, moved them around for maximum sun exposure, watered them, gave them fertilizers and vitamins. They responded gratefully and began to grow and bloom. Every day I began feeling better, and my spirits lighting up. I realized that my nurturing the plants was nurturing my soul. Years upon years of living a mundane existence in man-made concrete cities, I had disconnected from Earth. I reawakened to the natural beauty and prosperity that surrounds us all if only we would truly open our eyes and our hearts.
As mask-wearing people continued to populate and social distancing became the new norm, it dawned on me that our outside environment was mimicking our internal environment. It’s blatantly in our face now. Looking within the rabbit hole of my identity, I realized how much I had drifted from my authentic self; I had been conditioned what to think, how to feel, what to want, and what to believe. I allowed a prefabricated society to mask me! I was not only distant from myself but I was distant from those I loved too.
I used lockdown as a time for self-reflection and self-discovery. I disconnected from social media, from the news, from the noise of others, and went on a journey within. I remembered who I am, not what I was manipulated to be. I awoke from the social and systemic structures we were unconsciously living (sleepwalking), utilizing my solitude as a safe haven, where I began to explore what truly makes me happy, and where my true passion lies, and how I wish to proceed forward in my life in truth and awareness. I found solace and empowerment in reclaiming my creative powers. Currently I spend my days with a paintbrush and canvas, and usher in a new era in my life, knowing that my inner calling will light my path, and the magic will follow.
What I can conclude is despite taking a financial hit, the spiritual wealth I gained is beyond any monetary value. I don’t fear what was lost, I now look at what was gained. I call on us to honor those who lost their lives in the battle against COVID by making a change for the better, and living our lives with more authenticity and love. It’s time to drop our metaphorical masks and our self-imposed barriers.
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