Whether we like it or not, whether we want to admit it or not: Life is all about relationships.
That being the case it’s certainly worth our examining the relational foundation of life. Look, you know as well as I do that almost everyone who has ever been through a relationship will have quite naturally gone through a break-up. That being said, it’s in your best interest to consider what part you played in the relationship’s end, and when I say relationship break ups, I am in no way limiting that to romantic relationships.
So, let’s briefly go on a voyage of discovery and peek inside the minds of the people around us for some real life examples of some of the limiting beliefs and behaviors that directly affect relationships.
There’s a good chance that you know at least a handful of people who feel that the people they are surrounded with are not really there for them. You know what I mean, right? You get the impression that they hear what you are saying, but aren’t really listening — that they ‘don’t get you‘.
Maybe sometimes you might feel that you can’t be honest with the people around you because you’re afraid that if you spoke your truth you may hurt their feelings, or end up getting hurt yourself.
I’m curious; have you ever considered how many people are afraid of being honest with themselves because they are scared stiff that the truth would be too painful to face?
Why can it so often be so hard to have honest relationships even with ourselves? Well, keep reading I’ll get to it in a moment, but first….
Let me be straight with you: Relationship, as I said earlier is one of the great foundations of life, and if we don’t master that foundation there is always a sense that something is missing.
One sure-fire way to tell that you have not mastered your relational foundation of life is if you’ve ever felt a certain ‘disconnection’ from the people who surround you. Moreover, there’s a strange feeling that many of your relationships are actually based on obligation — a sense that you must participate ‘or else’s rather than a conscious choice, and this is a massive sign that your relational foundation is out of whack.
I’m sure you can feel that the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on every aspect of our lives, that we are a part of a collective consciousness. Those who surround us affect many areas we don’t consciously think about, including, but not limited too; how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about our circumstances, the decisions we make and what we end up believing we deserve and therefore what we attract into our lives.
One of the most challenging things we can face is to be on a path of consciousness while having no conscious community…
It’s like trying to stay sober while living in the pub.
To stay committed and connected to your life’s purpose you must surround yourself with a conscious community who get you and also get why personal growth is so important. That community needs to have a collective consciousness that upholds you in a safe place to grow.
Back to the Relational Foundation: One of the liberating benefits of mastering your relational foundation is that you happen to find yourself constantly surrounded by loving people who love you: people you respect deeply, and in turn, people who deeply respect you. By mastering your relational foundation you will establish healthy boundaries with everyone around you. You will also have the kind of honest relationships you’ve always wanted with both yourself and with others.
Take a breath because here’s the deal:
Once you are the master of your ego-mind’s fixed ideas about relationships… you are not willing to put up with any crap!
When you have mastered the relational foundation of life; you don’t put up with being pushed around, and you don’t put up with people trampling all over your boundaries! Not only do you confidently speak your truth, you speak it while being open and compassionately able to hear someone else’s truth without the fear of hurting anyone and without the fear of being personally rejected!
Now come on, be honest, how does that sound?Tell me, how bad do you want to be able to do that and be that way?
One final staggering comment on this foundation. By mastering your relational foundation, you learn to eliminate all fear in relationships so that you can experience love in its fullest form. Need I say more?
Once again this piece is based on The relational foundation of life as featured in my book… “Don’t Read This…your ego won’t like it!”
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Originally published at medium.com