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Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed

Why now is not the time to be a wallflower

Why now is not the time to be a wallflower

By Dani Wallace, singer, motivational speaker, coach, author and leader of the I Am The Queen Bee Movement helping women across the world Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up

Photo Credit – Vicki Head

As someone who grew up on the Council estates of Preston, having experienced homelessness as a single parent, domestic violence and years of self-sabotage, along with serious doses of Imposter Syndrome when
entering the working world, I know a thing or two about hiding. Hiding from shame, hiding from visibility, hiding from myself.

But as an entrepreneurial mum of 3, who now runs sell out live events, a global online community with an online TV show and mentors women including celebrities on how to share their story on stage, I also know
a lot about showing up.


Having overcome my own demons and getting to know myself again after seriously dark times, personal development played a huge part in my journey that has seen me rise up.


After a ten year corporate career at the top in senior management as a trainer, helping others progress in the workplace, I learnt a thing or too about what it takes to be a leader and figured it was time to put some
of this knowledge into practice. First I worked on myself to build up my own self worth, then next became my focus on building others up.

Photo Credit – Piero Belmonte


My work now revolves around helping others Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up, delivering my message that no matter what our backgrounds are, or what has kept us down, we can #FlyAnyway. This is the basis of my I Am The Queen Bee Movement – and this is where my message comes from right now.


During these very strange times it is time to ‘Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up’ because if not now when?

If you have worked to create a business I beg you to not now hide from it – it needs you. I know your natural instinct right now might be to run and hide if things have taken a turn for the worst, if you have lost clients, if you have had to close your business, it’s fair enough to just want to camp out under your duvet. I get that you might feel like you have failed, like you have been outed as an imposter who didn’t know what they were doing anyway, who hadn’t built a strong enough business – but really who could have planned for this?


You are not a failure if you didn’t have a contingency for this – but you do need to have a plan B now. If you DO hide under the duvet what will that achieve? Only more feelings of failure, more uncertainty and more
heartache – so I beg you to make a different choice, to Show Up, Wise Up and Rise Up’.

This way you can stay in control, you can re-focus your skills, you can find new ways to serve your customers. You may be able to tap into the wonders of tech to pivot your business but what if you can’t actually trade – well worst case scenario you can start to lay the foundations for when you re-open, and build a strong, loyal, tribe who will be right there waiting to buy from you as soon as they are able.


“Closed mouths don’t get fed”….this has never been more true, as whilst there may be Government support for some out there, for many of us entrepreneurs there is no handout – so we have to make our
own economy, we have to be resilient, independent and bold, to show our audiences that we can lead from the front -and for this we need a voice.

We need to be able to communicate how we can help.

We need to communicate what we stand for.

We need to communicate – full stop.

Photo credit – Vivienne Guy

If you are struggling to have a voice right now, nervous about the current climate and what lies ahead for you here are my tips on how to be heard:-

1. Be kinder to yourself – do not feed yourself negative self talk as this self perpetuates. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to start thinking positively – you CAN do this.

2. Share your knowledge in safe circles first – see the impact your knowledge can have in a safe space -this will help build your confidence and help you see the value you bring, all amongst friendly faces.

3. Remember a HUGE proportion of women suffer from Imposter Syndrome, including politicians, Hollywood actresses, and sports stars. It is not debilitating unless you let it be so. You can choose to work through it and build up your self worth.

4. Don’t focus on selling, focus on giving. If you are nervous about putting your business forward during this time, come at it from a point of providing value. Think about how you can help others by sharing your knowledge, how can you be useful, how can you assist? When you create content based on this and you show up for others you’ll start to see the real impact you actually make.

5. Remember we NEED you and ask yourself – ‘Who are you NOT to show up?’ You are denying those who need your services if you hide and there are people whose lives you could change,

So – my final thoughts….remember “Closed mouths don’t get fed”  – if you don’t find your voice you are most definitely leaving money on the table –  but also consider that in hiding you are likely to find yourself lost, and are also leaving others lost – those who need your message/your support/your services.

So do you agree it’s time to get out from that duvet?

I thought so xx

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