Yesterday. It was nearly 5 pm, I was under the gun with a work project. My three and a half year-old, Ivy, was being unusually high-maintenance. The dogs were being insanely rowdy. Our house was (and still is) a mess. Western stand-off music played in my head as I walked from the living room to the kitchen and tumbleweeds of dog hair rolled by. Ivy’s underpants that I washed and folded three days ago are now scattered across the rug on the floor. Endless mugs of unfinished coffee cover my kitchen island.
When my husband came home, he grabbed the dogs and took them for a walk, so I could finish my work. I finished up and, as they were still gone, I grabbed a glass of red wine and went upstairs to do something I never, ever do: take a hot bath. I made a glorious, sudsy oasis (using dish soap, of course, because we have no bubble bath) and was about to step in when Ivy appeared behind me, back from what felt like the quickest walk in history.
“You takin’ a bath, Mom?”
She looks over my shoulder and observes my glass, “You havin’ wine?”
“Ok. Did you want one of my bath toys?”
I just started laughing. As much as I want my alone time, who can be annoyed with a tiny human offering you her bath toys?
So, she stayed in the bathroom with me — and played with her bath toys from the other side of the tub — while I just sat there, sipping my wine and washing off the day.
Some days are harder than others. For all of us. But, yesterday as I sat working — still in my pajamas with unbrushed teeth at 5pm — I looked around my chaotic, messy, home and I just said to myself:
Chuck it in the f*ck it bucket.
My husband is right: You’re not expected to do it all. But, even more importantly, sometimes you don’t even have to do half of it.
Here’s the thing: as much as we are all in this thing together, we are all in this thing alone. So, decide for yourself what you want to throw in the f*ck it bucket. It’s YOUR f*ck it bucket and you can do whatever you want with it! That’s the beauty.
You may care about a clean house more than I do (for the record, I think everyone on earth cares more about a clean house than I do). But I’m of the mind that as long as you are not living in filth that qualifies for a social services well-being check, you’re a winner in my book!
We all have things that appear higher on the list of priorities than others. And everyone gets to decide what tops their list. A word to the wise: keep your eyes on your own list. What matters to others may not matter at all to you — so don’t let other people’s priorities trick you into thinking they should be yours as well.
And maybe consider chucking all of those “How to…” articles in your bucket as well. Then start a running dialog in your head that begins with “How I…”
Originally published at lemonsintovodka.com on October 27, 2016.
Originally published at medium.com