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What is CHEATING? Why CHEAT? Isn’t a Cheating Relationship unhealthy?

Cheating is about making careless mistakes willingly after misusing an opportunity that presents itself in one’s life.  On the other hand, lying, being unfaithful, and straying are the feelings ignored or violated immaturely for want of selfish gain – thus ending up in polyandry relationships. Cheating is breaching an agreement. It is absurd especially when […]

Cheating is about making careless mistakes willingly after misusing an opportunity that presents itself in one’s life. 

On the other hand, lying, being unfaithful, and straying are the feelings ignored or violated immaturely for want of selfish gain – thus ending up in polyandry relationships.

Cheating is breaching an agreement.

It is absurd especially when one partner is practicing true love in a relationship, while the other is “preying” outside their marriage. There is no commitment to such a relationship. It is uncouth and shameful! A partner decides to brush-off its mate opinions and expectations in order to satisfy oneself.  Some cheaters are enticed by sex while others seek an ecstasy of breaching rules.  It differs individually; some also do it to enhance self-esteem; some feel that they should do it for revenge purposes.

Is cheating an addiction?

It is said that once a cheater always a cheater, for some “it is in the blood” and betrayal is one of their traits. The past behavior of a person when dealing with a situation, would always tell the future.  If you get involved with a person who once cheated, why would he/she not cheat on you? According to Dr. Phil McGraw, he says, “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

According to research, medics speculate that serial cheaters are expressively addicted to chemicals released by neurons (dopamine and norepinephrine) which contributes majorly on motivational behavior – therefore it intensifies a serial cheaters’ emotions and make them feel like they are “on top of the world”,  indistinct, thrilled and, adrenaline-charged on finding a “new catch.” When a cheater becomes an addict, it should not be their culpability; No! Blame the disorder itself.    

Cheating is not a slip-up; it is a choice.

Relationships reach an expiry phase when small lies start creeping in. Cheating does not just happen in a relationship; at times it is due to ignorance that the offended partner was found “behind the news.” Yes! It is when ignoring a part of behavior either unnoticeable or you did not want to know – you said ignorance is bliss.  Remember, an inquiry is a process prompted by a question. You would instead observe, investigate and make a summary! In this case, you will be giving yourself the best gift, and that is the gift of YOU.

Can love be mended?

Is it possible to forgive?

CHEATING is forgivable, but will always leave an unfading scar. Every small lie takes a bite of trust due to making bad choices in relationships. It does not end up well after recognizing that a partner is cheating. It affects the relationship between family, children and even workplace.For example, I came across a woman in a depressive state who shared her story.  She met Bobby while in University; pursuing a Masters in Humanities in Mexico. He would later specialize on being a Counselor and spice it up with a Public Relation Degree. The future was promising and looked so bright, for both of them. He was their Senior Pastors’ son; therefore, she expected to find a leader of leaders in him. Huh! Shock on her.

He made terrible choices by cheating on his Wife’s best friend. Is he qualified to be among addicts?  She narrates.

Cheating was not expected to be in this kind of relationship, she said. My expectations were beyond measure. She continues

 What happens when you find out that your partner lied?

“Character is what you are in the dark” A person of character will not revenge on such acts done against them. Their choices are top notch; they prefer to leave rather than deceive.   They are not carried – away by emotions of betrayal; composure is one of their traits.  Do not make justifications for bad conducts. On the other hand, once infidelity has occurred in a relationship, it is wise to ask the Whys. Once the reason for cheating is known, it is upon both parties to decide on the verdict of their relationship. They can devise a mechanism on how to mend and pick up the broken pieces if at all the damage done is repairable – such as forgiveness.

Cheating has never been a legitimate addiction – psychoanalysis does not recognize it either.

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