Question: Allana, some may say I’m opinionated, which is fine, but my Facebook page is my platform where I speak my mind. With the latest issues going on … And I’m leaving this vague on purpose … I have openly shared my opinions and views. It has been met with negative comments and people unfriending me. Should I have to censor myself?
I love that you speak your truth. Your choice of words is not that though. Your choice is words is “speak my mind.” My experience when we go through hiding, not speaking up, to speaking our mind and then we move … That would be all the way here, “Speak our mind,” and then we go into the middle to speak our truth. When we haven’t been heard, when we’ve been hiding and just waiting to get other people to like us or something like this, it’s a very insecure place. Then when we show up and we speak our mind, it initially feels quite empowering. “Nobody’s stopping me. I don’t care what anybody thinks about me, and I know who I … ” I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point.
It’s way over here, but it doesn’t really take into account presence. It doesn’t take in account appropriateness. It doesn’t take into account kindness. It doesn’t take in account the other people. It’s a very one directional communication. Communication is not one direction. Communication is speak and then it is heard, not agreed with necessarily, but heard. Then it goes back. That’s this communication cycle. It’s two pieces. When we often speak our mind, we’re not really interested in anybody else’s opinion. We’re not really having a conversation. We’re speaking at people to prove a point generally because we want to be right, even superior because we’ve been squashed or dominated potentially for so long.
I invite you to consider that your Facebook page could not be a place to speak your mind, but to speak your truth and see if that drops the energy from your mind, which tends to want to be right and wrong, look good, be superior, do it right, be safe, all these other things it wants to be. Drop down into your heart and speak your truth. Speak your wisdom. Speak love. Almost like one of your valves of your heart is talking. It would talk love. It would be a valve of love.
See what happens in terms of people’s responses versus reactions. When somebody needs to be right or dominate the conversation in their way, the only response people have is to get defensive. If you couch things without having to be right, having to dominated, having to … And you’re just here, “This is my opinion. If you like it, great. If you don’t, great. I’m not here to be right or to convince you of anything. I’m here to speak my truth from my heart with the intention of a contribution to uplift all.”
Check into what your intention is. It doesn’t feel as conscious as it could be. It feels like you’re on that spectrum that I did too when I was hiding from my ex. Then I would show up in court and speak my mind, but I didn’t get the results I wanted. I was overcompensating from there. Over time, I’ve learned how to come into presence, where I don’t need anyone to agree with me. I don’t need anyone to approve of me. I approve of me. When I share because I don’t share to get approval or to be right, my intention to share is to uplift humanity.
Maybe this is a step of evolution for you in your communication. If I can be of any greater service about this, I know you probably don’t want to be censored in your communication, nor do you want to be rejected, but I do promise you there’s a sweet spot in the middle. I would love to support you getting there. If you’ve ever considered sisterhood, partnership, mentorship, coaching, I would love to have the privilege of helping you find that sweet spot. It’s a place of great empowerment and total freedom, and it’s also very alluring and attractive to people, your people.
All right, all my love to you and thank you.
Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt’s passionate devotion to her audience via her podcast, blog, and coaching sessions helps men and women reclaim their joy, freedom and personal power dating and in relationships.