Cassandra Hill: “Loving yourself is the foundation to loving others”

Let’s create a world where everyone is celebrated not just tolerated. We need to show more love to people oftentimes people feel alone in this love let’s use our voices to show we care. As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Cassandra Hill. […]

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Let’s create a world where everyone is celebrated not just tolerated. We need to show more love to people oftentimes people feel alone in this love let’s use our voices to show we care.

As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Cassandra Hill. Cassandra is a Wellness Coach & Holistic Health Practitioner. She has authored two books He Restoreth My Soul Triumph Through Adversity and Holistic Healing Common Herbs & Essential Oils to Improve Your Health. Cassandra’s business Holistic Living Consulting empowers women to wellness.

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

When I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus, I became frustrated with the side effects of prescription drugs. I decided to take control of my health and studied health & wellness. Eventually, I developed a regimen that put me in remission. At this point, I decided my mission is to help people achieve wellness.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

Currently, I am working on a prayer journal and part of a book anthology. The prayer journal will help people draw closer to God which will help them discover themselves better as well as their relationships with others. The book anthology is titled Love Letters To My Girls will be a love letter to women on loving themselves inside and out.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?

For many years I struggled with wholeheartedly loving myself. This manifested itself by staying in a relationship that was toxic to my well-being. Once I realized my worth, I was able to leave the relationship and my life improved. When an individual decides that they are precious they will present to the world in a different way. Others will either embrace the change or distance themselves.

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

Media plays an important role in contributing to our negative thoughts of the body. We are made to believe that only certain images are beautiful. We see images of “beauty” that do not resemble our appearance and subconsciously believe that our appearance is flawed. This has resulted in more people experiencing emotional distress around their looks.

As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?

Loving yourself is the foundation to loving others.

As you grow in loving yourself the universe will manifest great things just for you.

Love of oneself is one decision that will never be regretted.

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

People get comfortable and do not like change which makes it easy to stay in unhealthy relationships. Being in any relationship requires work however if you keep depositing into a relationship where a person is only making withdrawals eventually the relationship will bankrupt. You are deserving of living in abundance. By learning to genuinely love yourself it will become easier to let go of anything that is not positively impacting your life.

When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times, self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

Ask yourself:

Does this person bring me closer to achieving my goals?

How do I feel when I am around this person?

Will this relationship deposit more than it withdraws from my life?

When I began college, it was a process of becoming acclimated to my new environment. I was putting forth effort to maintain relationships with old friends. At one point I realized that instead of lifting me up I was being torn down. When this self-reflection was realized I walked away from the relationships.

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

Everyone needs time alone. It is not possible to love anyone if you aren’t in love with yourself. Spending solo time will help you discover things about yourself that you have been hiding. Embrace becoming comfortable with yourself.

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

Once you genuinely love and understand yourself you are whole. As a whole person, you are equipped to love another being. Coming to a relationship half mended will result in increased stress and ultimately cause more problems.

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

As an individual put in the work to discover yourself by taking classes, yoga & meditation, and mind tests.

Society can help by portraying media that is inclusive of all groups and not judging people based on superficial characteristics.

What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

· Draw close to God through reading His Word daily

· Positive affirmation telling myself things that will help in understanding my worth

· Prayer as I draw closer to God, I realize I am truly priceless

· Mediation in the quiet moments discovering that I can change my life with thoughts

· Writing out my thoughts and feelings helps me to understand myself better which ultimately causes me to love myself more

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

5 Love Languages helped me to understand what type of love I needed and how I love others. One of my favorite podcasts is She Boss Talk. Although the podcast is not specifically about love it does show women overcoming in business which for me causes me to value myself, even more, considering my circumstances.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

Let’s create a world where everyone is celebrated not just tolerated. We need to show more love to people oftentimes people feel alone in this love let’s use our voices to show we care.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. Maya Angelou, It takes time to birth greatness. This has been a tough lesson for me because at times I put too much pressure on myself. Now I understand that God’s timing is perfect. Do your part and let things happen naturally. You are exactly where you should be to blossom.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

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