As emotional beings, it is our natural inclination to spend most of our time giving our power away.
We give it away to our spouse or partner who we argued with this morning.
We give it away to the person who cut us off in traffic.
Sometimes we even give it away to the weather.
We allow ourselves to be driven by ego and think that when bad things occur, the universe is conspiring against us. We react to our circumstances and take things personally. We think it’s all about us. Then when something doesn’t go our way, we spend time moping, complaining, or stagnant instead of letting it go and moving forward.
Life is energy. Think of someone in their 20’s who walks around like a zombie, going through the motions of their life. And yet we see someone in their 80’s who is full of life and infectious joy. If we don’t have energy, regardless of age, we walk around as if we’re already dead.
When we give our energy away, we are giving our power away with it. Our power to be productive, to be kind, to be loving, and to continue working toward our vision takes second string to our buttons being pushed.
We have the power to be bulletproof, to allow anything that happens in our lives to ricochet off and not deter us from moving forward. When we take control of our emotions and our choices, we become unstoppable.
So how do we take control (or get our control back) to become unstoppable? Here are 7 steps to get you there:
1 – HAVE A PURPOSE
How do you want to be remembered? If we know and consider our life’s purpose in every decision we make, then we can handle anything.
Famous writer and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl, has often talked about the importance of purpose in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. He saw how when people lost their purpose, that was when they finally succumbed to the brutal conditions of the concentration camps. They all had the same unthinkable circumstances, yet it was only when people stopped living for a purpose that they perished.
You may wonder how this differs from vision. To give you a visual, a purpose is the rainforest and a vision is an orchid growing in it. A purpose is the environment in which we are cultivating our vision to become possible. A vision is the goal that cannot occur without the proper environment for it to thrive.
When I am committed to my purpose, to creating an environment for my vision to flourish, nothing can deter me. My purpose is bigger than my circumstances.
2 – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY/ CHOOSING MY INTEREPRETATION
Years ago in what used to be a more conservative section of south Boston, famous drag queen, RuPaul, was in a gay pride parade running directly through the area. As locals booed her and threw whatever they had handy in her direction, she wasn’t remotely phased by it. She waved and smiled yelling, “I love you!” to the crowd who was angrily shouting back at her. When interviewed about it later, RuPaul casually denied hearing any disapproval. All she saw was a standing ovation from an adoring audience.
How I choose to interpret my life is entirely up to me.
The events that happen every day are neutral. They are facts. It is not the events that I’m experiencing that are taking my power away, but my choice of interpretation.
Our interpretation triggers our feelings. Our feelings trigger a reaction in our body. Then more feelings follow. The cycle continues and can spiral out of control if we let it. If we instead allow ourselves to have a more positive interpretation of any given situation, it can set the cycle up to be empowering and not disastrous.
When we are responsible and choose our interpretation instead of letting our feelings dictate our interpretation for us, we have the opportunity to see everything as a blessing, including what’s happened in our pasts.
3 – TRUST THE PROCESS
When I realize that what is occuring in my world is temporary, my attitude about it can shift with ease. If and when my mentality shifts, then it makes it that much more likely that the circumstances of my life can, indeed, change in my favor.
What resists persists. When I don’t trust the process, I am resisting it. As with our interpretations, our resistance is focusing energy on a less empowering choice. Surrendering and trusting the process transforms fear into faith.
Fear = the expectation that the worst will happen
Faith = knowing everything will work out, no matter what happens
It all goes back to purpose. If we are committed to our purpose and have faith, it turns a challenge into a blessing. When we choose positive energy by surrendering, something magical can happen.
4 – CONFRONT WHAT’S STOPPING YOU
This can often be the scariest step. If I want to live a bulletproof life, I have to have the hard conversation with whomever is standing in my way of freedom – even if it’s myself.
I have to be willing to tell the truth in order to move myself forward. When I am holding back on the whole truth, I am resisting and not applying the earlier mentioned principles.
The easiest way to get real with ourselves is to take a look at our results: they don’t lie. I can take an inventory in each domain of my life: mental health, physical health, relationships, finances, career/business, etc.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with a 10 being the highest), where do I stand? Honestly. What would a 10 look like? And – the most important factor – who do I get to be in order for a 10 to be possible?
As with trusting the process from the last step, it’s important not be attached to results or numbers. But, taking an honest inventory will let me know where I currently stand.
5 – LIVE WITH INTEGRITY
I discuss integrity a bit in my first article, but it’s so important that it bears mentioning again in this context.
It is so easy for people with power or authority to have more excuses to not be in integrity. When there’s no one to answer to but ourselves, it’s easy to slip and be late without apology or change our minds at the last minute without telling anyone.
Yet, not following through on our word is the quickest way we tear ourselves down. Living in integrity is about being one with who we are and what we believe in. To not follow through on our word creates a cycle of depleting our own energy.
There are only three options to honor our integrity: keep my word, break it, or renegotiate it. If we find ourselves consistently breaking our word, we stop believing in the power of our word and cannot trust it. Not living in integrity compromises our ability to dream, declare, and deliver our biggest goals.
How are we to ever create the life of our dreams if we aren’t able to honor our word about something smaller?
6 – EXPAND YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Nothing makes me feel more alive than challenging my limiting beliefs.
When we have big expectations, big things happen. However, we can’t create big results or deliver our lofty dreams without big actions that are required to get us there.
And that can be very uncomfortable.
Yesterday’s uncomfortable can be today’s comfort zone if we continue to push ourselves beyond our current limitations. The more we move through the discomfort, the more we are able to accomplish and the more confident we feel in taking on bigger tasks and scarier things.
Getting comfortable being uncomfortable helps us step more into our purpose and builds our confidence to be able to do things that yesterday we thought impossible.
7 – DO IT WITH ENTHUSIASM
This one is my favorite…
Live your life with enthusiasm in every way, and you’ll immediately notice how your life can change.
Enthusiasm is contagious! People want to be a part of something or around someone when they’re excited. In moments of breakdown, frustration, or anger, this is typically the first thing that goes by the wayside. But if we choose enthusiasm despite our circumstances, we will be able to have fun and keep stress low in the situation and choose our different, empowering interpretation.
Enthusiasm is a choice. This is not to say that we must fake it, but we can choose enthusiasm even when we don’t feel it. Energy, joy, love, enthusiasm…it’s all a choice. We can choose to be all in and light up our lives, and the lives of others, with our enthusiasm.
Everyone has the ability to live a bulletproof life. And everyone deserves to access the power that comes with living in a state of confidence that comes with it.
I want you to remember that you are a gift. You are unstoppable. Do not buy into anything negative – from yourself or others.
You choose who you are. Go for it. Make it happen. Have an extraordinary life. Try these principles on, and see how your life, your heart, your life becomes bulletproof.