Being Sick Isn’t That Bad

Five months after open heart surgery. Taking the current positive & negative trait inventory.

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This may come to a surprise to a lot of you if not all of you. It’s not all bad being sick. Before you shake your head or shoot me a text that there’s something seriously wrong with me, keep reading. 

Here’s what I don’t like so far:

– I don’t like the physical part of being sick, where I actually have a cord protruding from the right side of my stomach.

– I don’t like how I am constantly stiff and sore from various parts of the open heart surgery.

– I don’t particularly enjoy being connected to constant power and wearing my batteries and the vest. They are a pain in the ass.

– I don’t like being on blood thinners. I don’t like bumping parts of my body and having a bruise/cut that takes weeks/months to completely heal.

– I don’t like how this condition/surgery, has brought me inside. I am an outdoorsy person and love freedom. This has taken all of those interests away, temporarily.

– I don’t like living defensively. If I am not being constantly proactive and alert in my daily life, I could put my health and condition in serious peril.

– I don’t like, not being able to push myself as I’ve been accustomed to do for most of my life.

Here’s what I like so far:

– Every part of this condition has really been such a great mental exercise. It’s created a stretch for me beyond my initial previous mind capacity – I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

– It’s really prioritized who, what, where and when things are important in my life and what isn’t.

– I like that my health is my biggest priority.

– I like that I learned how to trust the process

– I like that I have been able to slow things down

– I like that I am aware of how close I was to not surviving the heart attack

– I like that I get motivated & inspired by every adversity I’ve experienced

– I like that I am appreciating every second of my life count

– I like my real sense of urgency

– I like my increased focus

– I like being positive – it’s really easy when I wake up and open my eyes.

– I like knowing that I am going to be alive to know that I fully lived my heart’s full capacity

– I like knowing that I will get a new heart

– I like knowing that give someone else a chance to continue living with that new heart.

This is what I like about being sick. It’s not easy to like being sick. It’s not easy accepting the concept of being sick or any of the above examples of things I don’t like. But if you count up the both of them, you’ll see there are much more things I like about my situation. I have to look at being sick in this perspective. I can choose not to, and not give myself the opportunity to see the good parts of all of this. You have to understand, this is my life. I am faced with uncertainty regarding my heart health every second and minute of every single day that I am alive. I am constantly positive because I don’t know any other way. I know I can beat, overcome and live my life in the best possible way, just by being myself. By being honest and blatant with myself, is sometimes hard for my loved ones to hear and process, but that’s the only way I am able to be constantly strong and realistic with my life. Thank you always for your support. Each and every day gets better. Even if it’s a little bit. 

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