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Being Normal Can Be Learned

Chunky bits of doom descending in forbidden gashes screaming pleasure and shrieking grimly. Passionately chained to God and guilt. Harrowing shrouds of grime and grease painted across my face smoothing the dimples like spackle and leaving a felony of deceit as I fly to the moon with my picnic basket full of lions and tigers and set up my wild utopian safari of preservation...

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I have been enjoying my creative writing class. This session focused on Surrealism and writing from the body in a visceral way to evoke strong emotion and physical energy. Making sense was not encouraged. I love the freedom in writing beyond linear thinking where meaning emerges in spite of the exercise. It feels expansive and very aligned with rewilding. I encourage you to explore your creativity and allow yourself to expand beyond the habitual and routine. What does this week’s piece evoke for you?

Chunky bits of doom descending in forbidden gashes screaming pleasure and shrieking grimly. Passionately chained to God and guilt. Harrowing shrouds of grime and grease painted across my face smoothing the dimples like spackle and leaving a felony of deceit as I fly to the moon with my picnic basket full of lions and tigers and set up my wild utopian safari of preservation.

Letting technicolor clouds of memories roam free across the deserted landscape. Rainbows of thoughts meandering in the dark airless space of time. They drink the cobwebs and eat the grey matter of my brain leaving me zombified on planet earth wearing a corn husk for a dress and letting my feet merge with the wet, sucking mud of life.

Molding my shape into forms I did not know I could become. Malleable and wet. Alive and vibrant. Aroused and sexy. Squishy and moist. The shapeshifting may sound like freedom, but it is just another act to perform among the many tiresome acts of being human.

We all do it. I am not special.

I am just willing to admit and forewarn. Groaning truth and furiously chiseling my words on fickle tongues. Churlishly plowing and tilling meaning. Gouging wrinkles of context across continents of lifetimes. Past and future merging with muck. The muck of life. The muck of art. The muck of war.

I feel tired. I feel discombobulated. I feel defeated. When is enough ever going to be enough? How much more can I take before I crack into two parts of nothing?

Infinity does not offer solace. Delusion keeps me on track. A cracked smile covering my lunacy. Only I know the vagaries and transparencies of my mind. I can contain my strangeness and keep it under wraps. Being normal can be learned.

Concealment is available. Repetition is all that is needed. Repeat the lie. Repeat the lie. Repeat the lie until fairies buzz around my head and wiggle their tongues sprinkling drops of luminescent madness that dissolve my fortitude and reveal my elephant.

It is large and dark and walks lightly on my soul, crushing me tenderly with love and kindness as only elephants can. Shrewd and foul it blocks the chance of freedom bullying forward using toenails to control. Painted pink and bright. Perched on my diaphragm as I suck in my breath choking on blood grasping at death fantasizing fruits garishly climbing over my grave.

It’s all in a day’s work. Nothing new under the sun. Can’t complain really. I’ll just pick myself up and dust myself off because today is a new day. I can feel it in my bones. Nothing like some good bone broth on an empty stomach. Just what the doctor order to ease my woes and lighten my mind. Bone broth for the soul.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilding Community.Learn More About the Rewilding Community

Rohini Ross is co-founder of “The Rewilders.” Listen to her podcast, with her partner Angus Ross, Rewilding LoveThey believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini also co-facilitate private couples’ intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is also the author of the ebook Marriage, and she and Angus are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about her work and subscribe to her blog visit: TheRewilders.org.

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