I met with a gentleman today who would appear to have it all. 40+ years of what he described as a “happy marriage”, he’s made more money than most people would ever dream of, he has the beautiful home, the luxurious cars, the wonderful kids with their spouses, and grand kids that bring a smile to his face when he thinks of them.
Yet, as we began to part ways, he turned to me to tell me he had seen a recent video of me being interviewed on a TV show on the topic of being good enough and said, “I always feel like I’m lacking in some way. How can I ever feel like I’m good enough?”
Here’s a portion of the interview he mentioned:
You Are the Only You
No one else can be you. No one can legitimately tell you who you are in your Core Identity. Out of the 7.5 billion people on earth, no one else is exactly like you. No one ever has been. No one will ever be. However, if you’re like 99.9% of the people I meet, you don’t know the real you.
We all get so caught up in the roles we play that we lose ourselves in those roles. We think we’re the loving, caring parent, but that’s a role. We think we’re the high-performing employee, but that’s a role. We think we’re the caring socially-conscious person who volunteers to help so many others, but that’s a role, too. And, because those are roles, they’re constantly changing. And this is where life becomes unfulfilling. Because the roles constantly change, we can never completely fulfill them. At best, it’s temporarily.
Your Core Identity
However, your Core Identity is stable. It’s who you are without any roles. So, take a moment and imagine yourself on a desert island and you’re all alone. No one to talk to. No roles to play. Just a peaceful sense of well-being as the ocean breeze gently caresses your face, the rustle of the leaves of the single palm tree flutters in your ears, and the warmth of the sand soothes your body as you lay against it.
Within this setting, now consider who you are being. Remember, no one to interact with. No roles to be played. Who are you now being? I suggest that you write down 4-6 one-word descriptors of who you are. Loving? Caring? Intellectual? Curious? Fun? And, then, describe how you exercise those toward yourself only?
Lastly, on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being low and 10 being high, how much do you value your opinion of your description? In other words, how much worth do you give what you wrote down?
Being ‘Good Enough’
When I guide my clients through this process, I’ve already taken them through a few hours of Mind Coding to rewire much, if not all, of the negative programming they’ve had for many years, so we get through it in an hour, or two. Once they complete this process and have their Core Identity, they realize that they will always be good enough. This, then, opens other doors, such as understanding their purpose for being here.
It’s an experience nothing short of extraordinary!
Now, imagine always being good enough. How does that feel?