Community//

What Modern Women Want

And, what the patriarchal men do not understand.

Looking together, but in different directions. 

In the dating culture, we women meet all sorts of men. Men do not come with any introduction manual to read and get to know their type. We have to figure it out on our own after a series of dates.

The type, I wish to avoid are the old school sexist also known as the patriarch or the chauvinist. They are full of themselves and they believe to believe that this is all a woman wants.

How do we women figure out if the man we are thinking to date is a modern day guy or an old school chauvinist?

It is not a rocket science to mark a chauvinist; we just have to look for the typical male chauvinist egoistical signs.

A chauvinist is pretty clear about what he is looking for in his women:

1) A pleasant looking woman with a polite tone.

2) The submissive kinds who makes them feel like a man

3) They love to control their women, they are the control freaks.

4) They love homely women who cook and keep the house tidy.

5) A woman who is readily available for them all the time

A hypothetical proposal by a chauvinist could sound like the one below:

Man: Hi,

Woman: Who are you?

Man: I am a Handsome Man.

Woman: Oh!

Man: Are you waiting for someone?

Woman: Yes!

Man: Oh, can I know who?

Woman: A Gentleman.

Man: Well, I am one, so it has to be your lucky day today!

Woman: What do you have to offer me?

Man: Eminently, my Last Name!

Woman: What a shame!

Man: What more would a woman want?

Woman: To safeguard her name!

Man: Consider me and breed beautiful children in future!

Woman: And what does your future looks like?

Man: Markedly, I will earn for you both in millions.

Woman: Thanks but no thanks, I am educated enough!

Man: Alas, you killed your chance to find a nice match.

Woman: Excuse Me?

Man: Smart women have harder time finding a mate.

Woman: Dumb men, I don’t date!

Man: You will regret later, what you miss now!

Woman: Sorry, but a chauvinist is not my taste.

Man: Chauvinist, who is he?

Woman: The one who just made me a feminist!

The framed conversation lets us know how catastrophic it could be to give-up our identities and how mightily a chauvinist could turn an average woman to a fierce feminist.

The above proposal would not have ended in a failure, if the man would have known what modern women are looking for in their men. If only, the chauvinist wishes to date one!

What modern women look for in men?

1) We need a friend more than a bodyguard.

2) Six pack abs and muscular biceps are attractive but we would still love a a man who is sensitive to our girly needs.

3) We cherish a man who could sometimes willingly listens to our rants, gossips, dreams, and bear with our mood swings during our hormonal cycle.

4) Yes, we do love a successful man – the one who is a provider, brings in safety and warmth we thrive for. But not at the cost of sabotaging our identities.

5) We were smoothly marching in the world with our heads up before we were introduced to you. We want you to be our asset not our liability.

6) We do understand a man’s need for freedom as we have the same need. Even we have a life waiting for us outside the relationship.

But sadly, the thinking ‘Friends’ come first and ‘mates’ are meant to be waiting back home‘, is an old school sexist thought which does not works for the modern women.

The moment men start to label friends as ‘mates’ and their significant others as ‘others’ that is the moment the real problem walks in.

The balance is lost right there!

If a relationship appears to be like a seesaw where one partner is hanging up in air and the other is settling down to ground then the team would never enjoy the fruits of equilibrium.

The key to success for any union is equality, and especially in the matters of the heart. Equality of rights, choice, decision, power, and respect – equality as a partner, regardless of the gender.

There is nothing good or bad in being an old schooled man or a modern woman either. But, when a feminist meets a chauvinist – it is most likely destined to be doomed. 

So why do we waste our time and energies on the wrong ones, when the right ones might be sitting, just a table away!

     Author – Preeti Singh (Homepage)
     Her books are available on Amazon.
     Follow her on Twitter and Instagram

Originally published at www.elephantjournal.com

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