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Beautiful Bodies

Choosing radical responsibility over judgement

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay
Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

I choose not to hate this body.

Even though there are endless reasons why, my brain tells me. I am conditioned by my own society to hate my body, even if it was completely healthy and ‘perfect’, which it is not.

In the media spotlight, I would fail on epic proportions. I don’t believe they would find a single redeeming feature in this body of mine; I would be labelled in all manner of demeaning ways, and I’d be expected to suck it up – because clearly I’m the one in the wrong.

Every time you judge another body, you are inadvertently judging your own. How does that make you feel? 

And yet this is our society – we are co-creators! It is not a mere extension of the media, nor even our leaders and governments… We choose on a daily basis how to feel about ourselves, and others. We choose to judge that woman for being ‘too skinny’, or that man for having long hair, or that child for playing loudly and unreservedly.

We choose to hate our own bodies, both consciously and unconsciously, just as we choose to hate other people’s bodies.

Every time you judge another body, you are inadvertently judging your own. How does that make you feel

So, when I look at a woman and have the instantaneous thought, “Wow, her skin is so smooth and silky”, I am contrasting my own skin to her ‘perfect’ example (yes, positive judgement is also a thing!).

It’s taken me years to rid myself of 95% of the conditioned negative judgement I used to have about other bodies – like looking at someone and thinking they were so fat, why couldn’t they just control it? And of course, I had my own weight issues – up and down – which fuelled those judgements.

Choosing to love your own body, despite its many imperfections is an act of pure integrity with your soul.

But choosing love, above all else, for my own body, changed that. It’s very rare that I will negatively judge another body now, and when I do I catch it immediately and ask myself why that came up.

  • Why should another body disturb me?
  • Why should it make me feel disgust or pity?
  • What it is it really about their body that somehow affronts me?

I am not perfect. Some days I berate my body, and I bully it. I wish it was something – or someone – else. I ask so much of it, at the same time as denying it basic needs.

I believe this is a journey we are all on. Instagram and Facebook would have you believe there are perfect bodies in existence, inside and out – all of the health coaches and fitness gurus with their super-toned, alkalised and enlightened forms. But the question to ask yourself is, “What took them there?”

And secondly, “What keeps them there?”

Choose to be amazed on a regular basis by the incredible feats your body supports you in, in every moment.

There are healthy ways to pursue a strong, resilient and capable body – and there are unhealthy ways. Hating yourself is definitely in the latter camp (and there are many, many ‘gurus’ who continue to hate themselves).

Choosing to love your own body, despite its many, many imperfections (because perfection is not nature’s intention, so why should it be yours?) is an act of pure integrity with your soul.

And when you find integrity with your soul, you also find harmony with the world around you – including the myriad bodies surrounding you at any one time.

You get to choose. Each moment, every day.

Hate yourself, loathe and berate and belittle your body, and always – forever – feel inadequate. Choose to put down and shame other people’s bodies to make yourself feel that tiniest bit better inside (does it really?). Choose to do this every day until your last breath. Will that feel like a worthwhile use of your energy? Will that feel like you made good progress? Will that feel like you did the best with what you had?

Or… choose to relearn appreciation for your body. Choose to be amazed on a regular basis the incredible feats your body supports you with, in every moment. Choose not to compare your body negatively against others. Choose to find wonder and awe in every body as we all shoulder our individual challenges – big, small and in between! 

When you find integrity with your soul, you also find harmony with the world around you.

Moreover, make it conscious. Every time an automatic thought pops up, like “ugh, I hate my thighs!” or “why am I always so tired?”, make it fully conscious instead of numbing it with food and Netflix, or Facebook and chocolate, or overexercising and coffee.

You don’t have to be a slave to your conditioned thoughts and more so, you have the most important seat in the house in terms of changing how society conditions us!

We are society. We are the media. It’s beyond time that we, as individual bodies everywhere, assumed responsibility for ourselves, and the judgement we send out into the world.

Change YOU first.

Be radical. Choose wonder, joy and deep appreciation, for yourself and others.

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