Well-Being//

The Voice That Helps You Win and Beat Anxiety

Next time your anxiety says "hello," try this.

Courtesy of Billion Photos / Shutterstock
Courtesy of Billion Photos / Shutterstock

My name is Malasia (@MultiPassionateBossBabe) and by learning how to acknowledge my anxiety, I’ve been able to win every single time it stops by to say hi. You can too. Below, you can read about my story and the many ways I use my voice to beat anxiety.

The Struggle of Morning Anxiety

I wake up to my sister asking me, “Don’t you have work today?” Rushing to my phone to check the time, it’s 7:40am and I have to be in for work at 8am. 

“I just started this job,” I stress to myself. “I don’t want this to be the first impression of how I am as a worker!”

My stomach is knotting and I just want to roll into a ball and cancel the day all together, but I know that wouldn’t be a good or rational decision. I’m an adult now; I need money and I can’t call out last minute just because I’m too anxious about showing up late. My breathing starts to get heavier and the room is getting hot. Did I mention it’s a two hour commute to get to my job? 

“I don’t get it! All my alarms were set to ring and wake me up at 4am, but none of them actually rung!” Dumb phone! It only works when it wants to. Not only am I going to have to show up two hours late and be that worker, but now I also lost my morning. 

How many of you can relate?

The Importance of a Morning Routine

A bad morning can lead to a bad day. Unfortunately, we all experience them. However, you can take control and minimize the frequencies of having a bad, anxiety-ridden day by making the most of your mornings.

For me, I make sure to wake up extra early to put in the time for my growth, both with my business and brand, and mental health. Otherwise, I know I won’t do it when I finally get home at night. After all, getting ready for work at 9AM to catch the two hour bus ride to my job and demanding shifts can make me feel like my day was robbed when I finally arrive back home at 9PM. By the time I get home I am exhausted and drained of energy. So, it’s imperative that I take time to start my morning off right so my day can follow in suit.

Now, the reason I am telling you this is not for pitty, but rather, for you to understand the importance of giving yourself a morning. If I can squeeze in the time, anyone can and it’s crucial to your mental health and for learning how to beat anxiety. 

The Affirmative Thoughts I Use to Beat Anxiety

Of course, there will be times when anxiety shows up unannounced. You can choose to give into feelings and let your anxiety rise, or you can find a way to improve your circumstances to help you beat anxiety.

On these days, I use my own voice to talk myself through it. Some of the positive affirmations I use are:

  •  “You’re going to be okay.”
  • “They will understand. This is only the first time you’re late. You’re only human.” 
  • “You’ve done the best you could and this is out of your power, your alarms usually work, how we’re supposed to know today they wouldn’t?”
  • “You look fine.”
  • “So what if you messed up? Everyone fails numerous times before they succeed. Don’t let that stop you.”
  • “You’re only human, embrace who you are. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide it.”
  • “You can do this. Keep going.”
  • “What can you learn from this?”
  • “Look at the bright side of things.”
  • “Who cares if someone doesn’t like you, you like you.”

Anxious Thoughts to Avoid

Yes, it may sound a little weird needing to talk myself through something, but you need to make a conscious effort to do so, otherwise, the anxious negative voice in your head saying things like:

  • “You’re not okay.”
  • “All of your coworkers will hate you and hold a grudge against you for being late.”
  • “Everyone’s going to think you’re a slacker and you shouldn’t even bother coming. Save yourself the embarrassment.”
  • “There’s nothing you can do to fix this. Just give up.”
  • “What’s wrong with you?”

YOU NEED TO BATTLE THIS VOICE. IT IS NOT THE TRUTH AND IT IS NOT YOUR TRUTH. 

How Your Thoughts Dictate Your Day

Sometimes we’re so familiar with this negative, anxious voice that we convince ourselves it’s our truth. For example, it could be something as simple as the voice in your head saying you don’t want to go inside that store because there’s people you may know who work there and might be in today. Even though that store is the only store that has decent priced high quality items that you need, you don’t go in. Instead you take the extra three mile trip to another store to prevent a scenario that you probably just made up in your head. Who loses in this situation? Certainly, it isn’t the store. 

Another example is you deciding not to go to a gathering you were invited to because you feel like you look fat in all your formal dresses and you have nothing to wear. You fail to realize how beautiful you truly are and how little of a deal it is of what you wear. You were invited for your personality and the person you are as a whole, not the outfit you were wearing when they invited you. Perhaps you even go out and make a big purchase to feel better about yourself but instead of enjoying the event fully, you’re too busy worrying about other people’s approval.

These little thoughts that seem to be so “normal” give your anxiety full control over your day and ultimately, over your life.

It’s that voice that will help you win and beat anxiety, or curl into a ball of defeat. It’s that voice that you need to tune into and determine whether it’s being helpful or hurtful for your healing.

Other Ways to Calm the Voice

Some alternatives I turn to that really helps me relax and calm the voice when they’re overwhelmed with anxiety are:

  • Drinking hot tea
  • Hot bubble baths
  • Sheet face masks
  • Chicken noodle soup (the real one with big chunks of meat, carrots and celery) 
  • Watching the sunset while praying 
  • Just praying in general
  • Journaling 
  • Talking to people that make me happy and laugh easily like my dad, sister and best friend.
  • Listening to a self development or a spiritual podcast (“coffee talks” and “taking back your power” is my go to)
  • Eating sunflower seeds 

As humans we all have moments of anxiety, some may be more extreme than others, some may have anxiety way more often than others but we all deal with it, we all have that voice that lingers and causes us to make decisions based on our fears instead of what’s best for us. Don’t listen to it. Acknowledge it but do not make it your truth. You’re stronger than you know and you’re more capable than you’re giving yourself credit.

I hope this list helps, and I know you’ve got this. My goal with my brand is to help provide the knowledge and tools to inspire and motivate people to work towards becoming their best version of themselves; to go after the life they want. To make an income doing what they love. To spread awareness that you don’t have to settle. If you have a burning desire to be someone or do something, you can find time towards working on making that your reality instead of letting it remain a mere dream or wish.

Originally published on AnxietyGone.

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