Well-Being//

Be Clear, Ask Yourself Questions that Matter

What do you want in your life? How would you like to feel? How clear are you on what your true desires are?


What do you want in your life? How would you like to feel? How clear are you on what your true desires are?

These may sound like simple questions, but they are the ones many of us forget to ask ourselves. When we do check in and ask ourselves the important questions, the answers have a way of effortlessly surfacing from deep within us. It is a matter of giving ourselves the space to BE CLEAR.

We are all wise, we have an inner guidance system that won’t steer us wrong. The trick is to remember to tap into that wisdom. When you give yourself the gift of stillness combined with clear self-inquiry, you will hear exactly what you need the most.

I have a memory from about 10 years ago that illustrates the impact of creating clear aha moments through powerful questioning. It was winter and I was six months pregnant with my first baby. My mom and I were bundled up as we trekked along on one of our many walks we would venture on together. I wanted fresh air and time with my mom to have one of our heart to heart chats. Even though it was supposed to be the happiest, most exciting time of my life — I didn’t feel settled and happy inside of myself.

I had everything to be grateful for: a wonderful husband, a home we were preparing to move into in time to welcome our first son, great friends and family, a healthy pregnancy, and the list goes on. But, I wasn’t focused on all of this amazing stuff in my life. I was focused on everything I believed wasn’t going well. I was caught up in all of my worries about what I didn’t want to happen.

My life had been coming together so well and effortlessly. But there I was, determined to sabotage everything that was so amazing by viewing my life through a murky lens.

My mom must have grown tired of witnessing this uneasiness within me. I clearly remember us stopping at a crosswalk, I was ranting about something or another, while the cool crisp wind swirled around us. In her obvious frustration from me not seeing my life through clear eyes, my mom threw her arms up in the air and yelled: “What DO you want?”

The question kind of slapped me awake. It was a pretty straightforward question, but one I wasn’t aligned with at all. What I wanted was to feel happy and at peace with my life. I wasn’t asking for a miracle, I simply wanted to feel settled within myself. That was it — that was the missing piece! Why hadn’t I seen it before? I hadn’t seen it because I hadn’t asked myself the important question before. I was just kind of cruising on autopilot, unaware I could actually change how I felt. I just needed to open my eyes and see it was up to me.

That moment of clarity woke me up to how I wanted to feel. I had no idea how I would get there (that part would come later after having my son) but I became very clear that day what was missing and what I was truly after. That powerful question and aha moment took me down a new path, one that would eventually align me with my purpose and passion for writing and coaching others.

I now use these kinds of clear questions in my coaching practice and they never fail. Time and time again, I witness people create aha moments for themselves by being asked the questions that matter. The stillness that follows is the most beautiful part, because this is the space where they tune in and allow their truth to surface — it always does.

It all seems so simple, yet it can be easy to miss. If you want to feel different in your life, you must be clear about what it is you want. That is the first and most powerful step any of us will ever take towards truly living and savoring the life of our dreams.

Your wise voice is always there and it will always answer your questions, particularly when you make them simple and to the point.

So what about you, what is it that you want in your life?

If you are interested in connecting to who you are on a deeper level, or if you would like to create a self-care and self-love practice — check out my new E-Course, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’. It is a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you — all are welcome.


Originally published at emilymadill.com on January 7, 2017.

Originally published at medium.com

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