Avoiding Rejection – Is It Possible?

Avoiding rejection can be more detrimental to most people than they realise. It's a choice between living or just existing.

Are you better off avoiding rejection, or facing the possibility that it might occur and going all in?

Setting The Scene

I had a conversation with a business mentor yesterday to discuss a collaboration we’d spoken about a couple of months ago in Cyprus. He works in the coaching industry and normally only works with 7/8-figure earners.

As you can imagine my ego was through the roof at the thought that he’d actually work with me.

We spoke last Friday and agreed to confirm the details on Tuesday. Super exciting! He has a huge network of people (including some well-known coaches) and was willing to ask them to contribute to the project.

*Dream come true*

So, you can imagine my disappointment when halfway into the conversation he started to backtrack, told me he didn’t think I was ready yet and should implement some other systems first.

OUCH. That moment of rejection hit me right in the feels. Believe me when I say, it stung.

He then proceeded to say that I could always go and contact a bunch of these coaches if I really wanted to get the project going, but to understand a lot of them may say “no”, and that he couldn’t prepare me for how to deal with that rejection.

Oh, the irony!

There he was talking about managing rejection whilst there I was smiling and nodding, but feeling like I was dying inside and thinking that my business was about to crash and burn (it’s not, I’m just a little dramatic at times).

So, can we avoid rejection?

Now bear in mind that since we first spoke about this project, it had taken me a lot of courage to reach out to him and ask if he was still happy to collaborate. It took me weeks, due to fear of… rejection. But I did it. And he said yes *thumbs up*.

Then this happened and I realised that there was a huge lesson.

Rejection is a part of our growth.

We have two choices:

1. Sit and watch from the sidelines, avoiding rejection at all costs due to the fear of how you’ll feel or what other people will think. That means you’ll never apply for that job, or kickstart your biz, become visible online, or ask that guy on a date, even. Basically, you’re choosing to exist rather than live.

2. Just do the thing that scares you the most. Even if the first thought is “what if they say no?”, or “what if I don’t get a reply?”. If we don’t ask, we will never know. And if people say no, that’s cool, just take as many lessons from it as you can and move on. Don’t get attached to the outcome! Apply those lessons next time around. Live your life, authentically and unapologetically.

What else have I learnt from this?

1. To never place all of my hopes and expectations in the hands of another person. The only person that can deliver in my business, for my business, is me. The same applies to you, in all aspects of your life. When it comes down to it, you’re your best bet.

2. I can actually get sh*t done by myself, I just need to trust in my ability. That’s not to say I’ll never need help again. We all need to admit when we’re struggling and seek out the person that can lift us up. Don’t sit there believing you have no options.

3. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. In my head I was totally relying on this product to make me more of a passive income, but then I realised I’ve already got another product that is friggin’ awesome. So I can focus on that and also start coming up with some other cool shiz. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other things going for you, too.

4. Bonus lesson: I’ve got more ladyballs than a lot of people. Courage isn’t something that comes easily to me and yet still I continue to push myself (I would never have said this 18 months ago!). I suspect you’re in the same boat!

My question to you is, what are you avoiding for fear of rejection?

If you’re looking to share your experiences, I know just the place. Check out my online community, you’ll be most welcome.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

How rejection and failure help you grow.

This is why rejection is good for you.

by Leigh Shulman

How I Faced my Fear of Rejection

by Sherry Parks

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.