Although everybody is welcomed to read the following lines, including the broken hearted, this is my advice for young people that will experience sooner or later the great feeling of love.
I - preferring to watch different category of movies;
- listening to different music genres;
- enjoying different dishes;
II - having different plans/visions of developing their careers/ lives;
- having different ways of spending money;
- having different priorities in life;
There are two groups of premises. Read them separately.
If you find yourself in...
- 2 situations from group I; none from group II...
- keep an eye out for small quarrels;
- 1 situation from group I; 1 situation from group II...
- stay alert and be prepared to solve the misunderstandings to come. If you can manage that... you'll do fine (That is if your partner is playing along. Sometimes after we grow... we tend to change into something that we were not anything at all like... "only two can play this game");
The risk of ending up broken hearted: low.
- 2 to 3 situations from group II...
- it's time to think hard before you invest some soul into the relationship. And if you already did, then analyze every aspect regarding your present and your future life and make the right decision. It's all up to you and ONLY you...(remember: we cannot change anybody's way, even though sometimes it may feel like it's possible to do it... trust me, it's not! An old saying goes like this: "Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”).
The risk of ending up broken hearted: "maybe" level
- 3 situations from group II...
- if you don't realize now the reality you are facing... there are great chances that later you will experience unwanted sensations or actions. Try not to involve any feelings as this kind of relationship can't work out.
a) same roof: we see each other every day;
b) same neighborhood: although we see each other every day, most of the times we go back to sleep at our own places;
c) same neighborhood: we see each other few times a week;
d) different cities: we visit each other once every two weeks;
e) different cities: we visit each other once a month or so;
f) different countries.
If you find yourself in...
sit. a) Unless you don't have any problems with that... it's fine.. just be careful how your relationships evolves... you might bump into the "unexpected" over time (example: finding out a repulsive, curious, weird, disappointing, threatening, aspect about your partner).
Warning fact: the more time you spend together with a person towards which you manifest growing feelings of love, the more tough and powerful the disappointment of separation in case it happens.
sit. b) Healthy relationship if everything else is fine between you. My advice is this: cutting down on seeing each other on a daily basis could actually improve your relationship. It's the same neighborhood anyway... a better thing to do is to get involved into other activities as well.
sit. c) A very good way to start a relationship. If you gained her/his trust... it's fine. Days shouldn't go by thinking about what the other is up to next. If that is the case... sit down together and have a talk. In any case, and for maximum security of your soul... it's best not to invest too much soul into this starting relationship... but, for now, just as much for both of you to feel happy.
The risk of ending up broken hearted: low!
sit. d) Relationship is risky! If you fell in love but have to live like this DO NOT put any more soul in the game until you see yourself closer to your partner. Don't even try not to invest soul, this is a must! You have to impose to yourself no to. There are 50/50 chances this type of relationship will either have a good end... or finish dramatically. Human nature is unstable. It's a fact.
sit. e) Very risky!!! In fact I would give this type of relationship 10% chances of working out fine. Seeing eachother so rare cannot even describe this as being a relationship. This is more like a no strings attached kind of seeing each other. No soul investment is indicated whatsoever .
The risk of ending up broken hearted: very high!
sit. f) It will never work out! Unless... you are very very very lucky and you've found a person who is willingto wait for you (thinking that there will be a time when you will see each other), or ... if you justdon't mind the consequences that this type of relationship involves and live happy together when you will eventually meet. My advice: avoid this situation!
The risk of ending up broken hearted: 99.9%!
Another decisive point is meeting the parents... in which case there are too many factors to take in consideration for a final decision to be made. But the fact is ... sooner or later... no matter how great the love for one another is/gets, parents will have an important influence upon a couple's life.
As final word... Never hand out your soul! Learn to protect your feelings. Train yourself not to be too friendly, if you feel that you became/you're becoming/you're usually everybody's friend. There is no such thing! I my self am a dreamer... but even I know that people are not what they seem to be sometimes. And if YOU are not taking care of yourself... it's hard to make it sane out of this world.