Author Krista Rizzo: How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself with Tyler Gallagher

When we are faced with life changing decisions, especially ones about ourselves and our relationships I always ask my clients to do an internal fact check. Who are you at your core? What are your non-negotiable beliefs? How do you want to be treated? When you start asking these kinds of questions the truth comes […]

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When we are faced with life changing decisions, especially ones about ourselves and our relationships I always ask my clients to do an internal fact check. Who are you at your core? What are your non-negotiable beliefs? How do you want to be treated? When you start asking these kinds of questions the truth comes out. It might be hard to face, but it really can lead to a great shift in your life.

As a part of my series about “Learning To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Krista Rizzo, a former corporate worker bee who dreamed of a better life for herself.

It wasn’t until she was forced to face change that she took the leap and never looked back! Now, as a Certified Transformational Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Blogger and Creator of the #WhyAmIYelling? Brand, Krista is on a mission to help others fall in love with change the way she did. Through coaching, speaking and her writing, she’s inspiring and helping others to overcome their fear of change by up-leveling their mindset, increasing confidence, and destroying their limiting beliefs allowing them to create the lives of their dreams!

Her first book #WhyAmIYelling? Because…Relationships! is out now! Connect with her on social media for daily inspiration and tips on how to live your best life!

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

Mylife change came 4 years ago when I was in a stressful situation at work that eventually took over every aspect of my life. Forced to face change or suffer from extreme burnout and anxiety, I made a choice to let go of my fear and take a leap of faith. I began my coaching business as a result of that experience. My choice to go into transformational coaching with an emphasis on relationships is because I want to help other women successfully overcome their fears. It’s empowering when you have the ability to create monumental change in your life in a positive way. I love being a life changer!

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

YES!! My newest project coincides with my book that I released in November 2018. I’ve created a coaching course around the book which focuses on the 5 Essentials we all need in every one of our relationships. This experience (there’s a choice of either a group or one on one coaching) will assist in creating a better understanding of relationships.

In it we are unpacking all of the fear around feeling unfulfilled, unappreciated, guilt and more and we are replacing it with confidence, desire, appreciation and a lot of love. We start with falling in love with ourselves and move on from there. I don’t want to give it all away — but it’s a pretty extraordinary experience.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?

I experienced my tipping point several years ago when I was feeling overwhelmed in all areas of my life. I essentially broke down from the stress and realized that I was not taking my own health into consideration. I knew I had to make a drastic change and I needed to start asking for help to do it. Once I did that, my life changed for the better. I was able to confront my fear and create a life full of acceptance, love and gratitude.

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

I think the biggest factor is our society when it comes to appearance. Corporate marketing has done a great job with telling us what we should or shouldn’t look like. As consumers we fall into the traps easily. We have to work to find ways to overcome that stigma — because in reality we are all unique, beautiful beings. I love how marketing is changing but it’s still not enough. That’s why it’s so important for me to do what I do because when I’m working with a client, I can help them see how truly amazing they really are.

As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?

The single most important relationship you are going to have is the one you have with yourself. I say it every day! Some may find that to be a bold statement, especially if you’re a mother — but it’s true. Most of us will not come to appreciate the meaning of loving yourself until we are more mature, when in reality, we should be teaching it to our children so they can start with positive self-esteem. Loving yourself is all about the confidence you have, about the attitude you project about the way you treat yourself. And at the end of the day, when you’re firing on all cylinders then you’re unstoppable!

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

People stay in mediocre relationships because they’re scared. Fear is the biggest factor in my coaching on relationships. Fear of the unknown. Fear of thinking this is all they are worth of. Low self-confidence. There are so many factors!

My advice would be this: take a good, hard look at your relationship. Make a list of what your dream relationship looks like and cross reference it with the experience you’re having. If you truly love the person you’re with, then you can find ways to come together to work it out. If you are in a relationship out of convenience or any other negative reason, then find the strength to overcome your fear. Lean on your support system (friends, family), do mindset work, gain the confidence to make a change because it will be a change for the better in the long run.

When we talk about self-love and understanding we don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

When we are faced with life changing decisions, especially ones about ourselves and our relationships I always ask my clients to do an internal fact check. Who are you at your core? What are your non-negotiable beliefs? How do you want to be treated? When you start asking these kinds of questions the truth comes out. It might be hard to face, but it really can lead to a great shift in your life.

When I did it years ago for myself, I realized that I was wreaking havoc on my health and I needed to face my own fear so I could be better for me, my family and most of all my children.

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

“Being alone doesn’t mean lonely” is a chapter I have in my book. In it I talk about why it’s important to be comfortable with being along sometimes. It will heighten your appreciation for yourself. It will increase your awareness and your self-esteem. When you can find pleasure in spending time with yourself you are unknowingly creating beautiful experiences for yourself. I highly recommend it!

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

When you have a good understanding of who you are at your core, you will have the capacity to demonstrate that in your relationships. You are more self-aware, you can create boundaries and set expectations with ease and you can share yourself completely.

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

Acceptance is the first thing we should do as individuals and a society. We are not all created to look the same and that’s what makes us so special. We have to overcome stigmas that have been put into the world. We have to push back on negativity and discomfort. We have to appreciate and stop judging. When we can do all of those things (and more) we will then be on our way to positive acceptance of ourselves and others.

What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

I have a daily routine that I do not deviate from that helps me stay focused and grounded in the most optimistic way I can.

  1. Mindset practice. Every day I wake up and do mindset work. I meditate for 30 minutes to help get clear and ask for guidance throughout my day.
  2. Quiet. I spend 100 minutes in silence with my cup of tea after the kids go to school. It allows me to get grounded and ready for my day.
  3. Journaling. After I meditate, I will spend about 20 minutes journaling about whatever come to my mind. It’s my time to release things that are not serving me, to put ideas to paper and to tell my daily story.
  4. Exercise. I don’t have a set routine for this. Sometimes it’s as simple as the walk to and from school when I’m dropping off the kids. Other times it’s an hour of yoga or going to the gym. I like to mix it up, but I make sure I get outside and move my body for 30–60 minutes a day.
  5. Gratitude Practice. Every night before bed, I say my prayers. I give thanks for my life and my day. For my experiences and for everyone and everything that has impacted me throughout my day. Deep breathing through it and connecting with my source are a way to initiate a stress-free sleep and it allows me to release my stress as well.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

I’m a reader, so I mostly veer toward that genre. I love books by people that I resonate with. Most recently I read “The Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhymes and I loved it! It’s about overcoming personal fear and getting to know yourself — very inspirational.

I also love “Eat, Pray, Love” By Elizabeth Gilbert. “The Universe Has Your Back” By Gabby Bernstein and “You Are A Badass” By Jen Sincero. I would be remiss to not mention my own book “#WhyAmIYelling? Because..Relationships!”

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

I would start the “most important relationship” movement! Learning how to accept and love yourself completely without hesitation. We all need to be less critical of ourselves. Once we can achieve that we can share it with others to create a domino effect. I would love to see that happen!

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by?
Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

Deep faith eliminates fear is one of my favorite quotes. I use it every day in so many ways. It’s been available to me in times of darkness and in times of light. Having the power to overcome your fear through your faith is a strong message and even stronger feeling.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

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