I over did it again.
This is a pattern that every now and again shows up in my life.
I have been working on an amazing project. A project that has the potential to positively impact many people’s lives.
But every time I get involved with something important to me I get into a hyper focus mode. In that mode I’m constantly having new ideas. I work for hours on end without any food, living on Green tea. I sleep badly. I’m sure you get the gist. This is the recovering type A personality at play.
My body gave me many clues to stop. I ignored them and continued on. I sacrificed my daily mindset routine as well.
I’m now burnt out. I’m exhausted. I have a tummy bug and my back is killing me.
You must be thinking why am I telling you this?
I think this is important to share, as the Self development and coaching industry often portrait a picture of eternal positivity and perfection.
It’s important for you to know that I am a Holistic Life coach and that I too burn out. I too have unhelpful patterns come up every now and again. Does it mean I can’t serve my clients powerfully because I don’t have it all together?
No. It means that is exactly because of this. It’s because of my humanity and willingness to go to the depths of my being that I can show up powerfully and help my clients deeply.
And today I get to pay attention yet again. The interesting thing is that every time this happens I learn something new from the same pattern. That’s why Self and spiritual growth happens in a spiral. You never stay in the same place. You are forever on an upward spiral.
Today I learnt that this very same pattern is what keeps me playing small and avoiding upleveling.
I avoid some of the work necessary to uplevel because I don’t like to get in touch with this part of myself. The part that gets hyper focused and can’t stop working on a project that is meaningful to me. I’m still yet to learn the balance. And I’m not stopping this project at all. It’s my calling. It’s what I came here to do.
So today I get to delay my project, pay attention and rest. The old me would have felt very frustrated and would have pushed through. The current me is observing, resting and being grateful.