It’s an age-old problem. I am looking for more. I need more. I am scared of losing what I have.
At what point do I have enough?
At what point do I have what I need? And what does “need” mean? Does it mean I can retire? Do I even want to retire? Or does it mean that I have what I need to continue and to do the things I enjoy and the things I am good at?
Wanting more increases our anxiety. Not being happy with what we have increases our anxiety. Not being happy with who we are increases our anxiety. Especially for over-achievers like myself.
I have been self-employed for 22 years. Working for lots of different clients and as an entrepreneur constantly looking at the horizon and seeing what different opportunities there are.
Each time I am “distracted” by the new challenge, keeping my normal business running whilst trying the new venture. “I have to achieve,” I keep telling myself. This is what we have been trained for. But at what point can I “give up?” Am I giving up? Or perhaps am I rather saying “I have done enough” in a particular area of my life, and now I am leaving it to others or to the universe to continue.
I worry that I am being apathetic in doing this. Have I really done “enough”? And at what point is enough enough?
I have what I need is an amazing sentence. It doesn’t mean that I can retire or that I don’t have any problems anymore, or that I don’t need to work tomorrow. It means that I accept my current situation and it means that I accept who I am and what I do. I have what I need means that I can do what I have been trained to do and what I enjoy. I have what I need means that I live in the house I want to live in, with the wife I want to live with, with the animals I want in my life, with the friends I love to be with, with the clients I like spending time with, in the city of my dreams, and with so much else that “I need.”
I guess that saying “I have what I need” is saying “I have enough.” It isn’t a cop-out. It isn’t apathetic. It just allows me to be who I am and to continue with my main path in life, whilst doing some extra things that I really enjoy doing, like writing and helping and being a guide.
So “I have what I need” morphs me into myself. I’ve been searching for me for a long time. And I have what I need helps me to be me.
Try it: say “I have what I need” and see what happens and how you feel and what changes in your life.
Originally published at medium.com