I’m running a private confidence challenge this week with about 45 women and the topic on my mind is asking for help.
We are told to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness and that is a ton of BS to me.
We ask for help with little things – directions, recommendations for dinner spots, we even ask for help from the clerk in target to help us find a specific item in the store.
You’re comfortable with all that, right?
But when it comes to asking for help with your current life, your mental state, or a huge goal that you have, you tend to shy away.
You have this lone wolf mentality and believe that you have to do it alone, that if you ask for help it’s all of a sudden not as good as if you did it alone and you’re weak (or not enough) for asking for help.
We have to stop this. The truth is that you’re much weaker if you don’t ask for help. End of story.
You have big dreams. You can’t wait to get out of your current story and start your new chapter.
You are so brave and you will do it, but it’s going to be a lot harder to do it alone, and it’s going to take a lot longer.
When my clients finally drop this lone wolf mask they’ve been wearing and ask me for help, everything starts to change.
It saddens me when some women don’t do anything about this because I know that they’re doomed to more suffering, more struggle, more excuses and they’re going to stay stuck, looking back and having regrets.
You may think that you can just go to a friend or ask you mom. That’s a start and I applaud you for reaching out, but it’s not the same as hiring a professional.
When you start asking for advice from friends or family, you start to blur the line and walk into the realm of validation. All of a sudden, you find that if you don’t want to take their advice, you’re disappointing or offending them, it’s even more uncomfortable, and now you feel shamed or judged. You’ve now opened the door to a lifetime of unsolicited advice.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally encourage you to reach out and seek help but if you’re going after some seriously big goals, your going through a major transition, or you’re looking to do some deep, soul level work, your friends and family’s advice is not the same as working with a coach or a therapist (depending on what you’re seeking).
A coach is going to be unbiased. I don’t care about my client’s past or their mistakes. I care about right now and how we’re going to get to your goal. I am your partner. I create a space where nothing is off limits, and you’re not going to be judged. I create structure, accountability and an place in your life where you can be bold and courageous. I walk the path with you, support you the whole way, and keep you accountable to making your vision a reality. I take a stand for you getting what you want. I care about it just as much as you do. You’re also investing time and money with a coach – you have skin in the game and that means you’re going to show up and fight for it.
I know you. You can’t stand the thought of settling. You refuse to. You will absolutely not look back on your life with regrets. But you’re a little scared, overwhelmed and not sure where to start, and that’s okay. This is uncharted territory and you’re doing something huge for yourself.
We only have this one life and this short period of time to create what we want. Why are you dragging your feet and wasting valuable time? Pull yourself up, ask for help and decide to make it happen now.