Ok (excited sigh)! I am sooooooo happy to be writing this article. I have wanted to talk about the BS twin flame TRAP for years now. I know, I know, this can get controversial. But this topic is so important for us spiritual women out there, so let’s dive in.

To add some structure to the writing (and hopefully the implementation of these words), I have used an article from Mind Body Brain where we are going to break down the points of a twin flame. I’ve put my thoughts in italics below the article’s statements. 

What is a twin flame? An intense soul connection thought to be a person’s other half. 

Well, let’s start here because it’s already a big fat noooo – you are not a half of anything. You are a whole! All by your damn self.

It is based on the idea that one soul gets split into two bodies. 

Nope! See above. You are a whole body, not a half, not split, whole. 

A twin flame relationship will be both challenging and healing. 

Healthy love will help you heal, NOT challenge you. Challenge is a nice word for we argue. I don’t challenge Matt to be better, Matt does not challenge me to be better. We ARE better in each other’s presence. Support and empower, yep; challenge, nope.

When you met, there is an instant recognition

Sure! This is healthy! This is a soulmate

Two: You are very similar

Matt and I are similar in our core values. Our interests are different, but our core values are aligned and that is important.

You compliment each other:

YES- Matt and I compliment each other and that is so important. I am feminine to my core with him. He is an alpha man with me. 

Your insecurities and doubts are amplified. 

This, again, NOPE! 

Your purpose with twin flame is to help you define and live out your purpose. 

Ok, good so far.

So, often, this type of relationship will reflect your problems and deepest insecurities so you can work through them and grow.  

That sounds ok, except it often leads to women being aggressive with their men, or women rationalizing certain behaviors as it’s just “twin flame” stuff. Nope – you are just with a narcissist asshole. 

They feel magnetic: Yes! 

The relationship is tumultuous: Nope, it’s just toxic.

Being with a twin flame is like constantly being confronted by yourself. 

Nope, it’s like constantly being confronted by your partners insecurities….all the fucking time. Sigh, again. 

It can be challenging but it is facilitating major growth for both of you. 

No it is fucking not.  You being in pain, him being in pain is NOT facilitating growth for you. It is not healthy and not sustainable. If you think you are exhausted now, wait for a lifetime of that, because it is not getting better. 

The relationship is very intense: 

Yes! Every day I feel super excited, we have that psychic connection, we support and empower each other to do better, but no one is pushinnnggg. Being called and supported toward a mission is more exciting than being PUSHED.

Ok, I’m done now. What resonated? What are some stories you’ve told yourself and actions you’ve tolerated because of the Twin Flame trap? I’d love to hear from you, my loves. 

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“Ask Emmy Anything” is a column dedicated to answering your questions about love, soulmates, romantic myths, and anything else that is holding you back from the relationship you’ve always wanted.

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