From the time we are born, we begin to seek. Seeking is innate. When hungry, a newborn’s mouth instinctively looks for a nipple. Before long we are seeking familiar sounds. We graduate to favorite blankets and toys. As we develop the ability to crawl, we begin to seek and explore our environments. We seek to find understanding in our discoveries.
As we grow older, we begin to seek playmates. We seek accolades and recognition. We begin to seek independence.
We seek progress in moving from grade to grade. We seek college admission and/or employment. We seek relationships, love, and families of our own. Some people never stop seeking. These are the individuals that are always trying to accomplish something new. They tend to never retire completely. If they do retire, they have plans B, C, D, and beyond. They continue to learn and grow. The take up new hobbies. They begin to mentor and help others less fortunate. Some start new businesses or write books. These individuals are happy and joyous. These individuals lead fulfilling lives. These people are excited about life!
With so much happiness, joy and fulfillment coming from the act of seeking, why is it that some people no longer seek? While there are countless reasons, I believe two of the major reasons are the way most organizations are run and the inability to overcome certain obstacles creates a feeling of helplessness.
In most organizations, especially the larger ones, it is difficult to maintain accountability, productivity, and results, without putting “policies and procedures” in place to control work and to measure outcomes. Quite often, employees seeking to make an impact, to receive accolades and recognition, are shot down by insecure supervisors, dictator leadership, or the weight of bureaucracy. When ideas and suggestions are ignored, shot down, or even worse, result in public humiliation, individuals tend to withdraw. This is a primary cause of disengaged employees. This is also why some companies in decline can never recover. Employees with ideas that could save a company, have an idea that can reinvent a company, go unheard because of past rejection or ridicule.
These examples in the workplace are just one example of feeling helpless. Too often individuals give up on what they are truly seeking after a few attempts. Sometimes, individuals will give up on what they seek, without even one attempt, because of their fear of rejection or being ridiculed!
An example of this is the individual attracted to a specific individual but never finds out how the other person feels because the individual is afraid to ask for a date. The couple that never seek counseling because they each believe the other will never change creates a sense of helplessness. Employees afraid to ask for a promotion or a raise out of fear of rejection settle for getting a paycheck and eventually feel like they are in a rut.
Some individuals seeking a new career may attend several interviews without success. Instead of seeking more interviews, they will simply give up and resign themselves to finishing their career where they are at.
Some individuals after several relationships end poorly, decide they are destined to live alone. Some individuals feel so devastated after one relationship they decide to never seek another one.
While these feelings of helplessness may prevent them from feeling any more rejection, the fact they quit seeking leaves them unfulfilled. They go through the rest of their lives feeling like something is missing.
Regardless of where you are at in life, it is never too late to start seeking again! It has been scientifically proven that when we are seeking our bodies release dopamine – a neurotransmitter linked to motivation and pleasure.
What you seek doesn’t have to be big or life-changing. The simple act of seeking anything begins the release of dopamine in your body. Just think back to the last time you were looking for something you misplaced (think car keys). Even if you were laying on the couch when you realized you didn’t have your keys in your pocket, you immediately feel a rush as you get up to find them. You become more and more determined until you find them. It is only when you give up and quit looking that your feeling of being energized diminishes.
If you feel like you are in a dead-end job you can still be seeking! If you work at a call center with the never ending repetition of answering call after call, start seeking ways to make the customer laugh while you are talking with them. See if you can find a way to release their frustration while you work to solve their problem.
If your office has an ongoing problem that no one can seem to solve, make it your mission to seek a solution. If there is high turnover, seek to find out why. Your answer may help to solve the problem.
If you realize you are no longer seeking, start seeking what you once dreamed of having. Timing is everything! Your past results don’t have to equal the future. If you quit seeking because you didn’t like the results you were getting, start seeking ways you can change. When you change, your world will change.
Remember, there is greatness within you. You must choose greatness. It won’t develop on its own. I believe in you!
“When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about change.”
Take Action Today!
If you would like assistance with seeking and getting what you seek, I can help you. We can meet by phone, on Zoom, or in a place you deem safe with social distancing. Whether you choose me or someone else, a coach will expedite your results.
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Published by Bryan M. Balch, Results Coach
Helping Individuals and Businesses Achieve Desired Results
Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay.com
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