Are you afraid of your own happiness?
I thought I needed to be too.
Growing up, I was just a happy kid.
All smiley and bouncy and filled with Joy.
Which is why I thought this is how everyone felt.
Happy to be who they are.
Because I was happy to be me.
Until I realized that being happy is a choice.
I can still remember the experience. When I started to think about it. Think about my own happiness.
I was 18 years old. Working in a sports store. Chatting with the other cashier. When she makes this comment: “You know, you never say anything bad about yourself.”
Which made me think.
Should I be?
I just never thought to do that.
So I started to think about it.
And as the years went by, I started to notice that not everyone likes people who are happy. Not everyone enjoys people who live in their own joy.
Receiving feedback that I was “too happy” to be teaching a 6 a.m. cycling class.
Being told by my mom that I should smile less and not laugh so much.
So I actually started to learn to feel bad for feeling good.
Learned how to hide my joy.
Stopped being so cheerful.
So over the years, I conditioned my mind to go to the Sadness. Rather than the Joy. To go to the Blame. Rather than the Understanding. To go to the Head. Rather than the Heart.
And Life got heavy.
Carrying around the emotional weight of all these thoughts.
Because I was no longer being me.
Who I was.
Who I am.
And I am happy to be me.
We all get to choose how to live our lives. You get to choose. And I do too.
Because Life just is.
Which means it can be anything you want.
You can choose to hang on to the misery because you think it is easier.
Or, you can choose to let go and experience the joy of knowing you can make this decision for you too.
You can wallow in the pity and keep thinking it is all about you.
Or, you can choose to take responsibility for your own life and your own thoughts and understand how it is all for you too.
You can dim your own light and hold back your joy.
Or, you can choose to shine brightly so others can remember how Happiness and Joy are a choice for their lives too.
Will you still feel sad at times? Of course you will. Because some experiences in Life are simply sad.
But you get to choose to stay in the Sadness. Or not.
You get to choose to stay in the Anger and the Blame. Or not.
You get to choose to stay in the Hurt and the Shame. Or not.
Because you always get to choose what you are going to do.
And you can always choose to live in the Happiness and the Joy too.
Happy to be who you are.
The Joy of Simply Being You.
I choose to live in the Happiness. And so can you.
My name is Isabel Mar and I am your gentle guide back to you. Who you are. Not who you think you should be.
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