The Greek Godess of Hunting, Competition and Sisterhood – Artemis – has been visiting me regularly in past few years. She has been reflected through my daughter, who has a full 11th house of friends, community orientation and social affinity. It was simply impossible to stay home with this wild, risk taking, woods loving and “tomboyish” girl. Her arrows were pointing all around, her heart aching with every hurting soul…until two years ago when the goddess of Underworld emerged in her Persephonian introverted attitude (of course connected with some quite heavy experiences) and small teenage Aphrodite flirting sparks here and there. She is fourteen now, initiated and ready to step into her first journey through womanhood.
It is amazing to observe how deeply we are connected and how my inner world is shifting in a wave with hers too and how I need to ignite other Goddesses within to feel aligned with her rhythms.
I didn’t have much of a need for women circles and company until 2 years ago and the events of last few weeks have revealed to me why was that so and what I’m actually looking for, when in company with other women.
When I was a teenager, I had a strong Aphrodite/ Artemis circle of girlfriends. We were partying together, having been obsessed with our physical appearance and make up, having similar interests in dance and entertainment and were all deathly committed to achieving goals together at competitions. I broke that circle and until recently I wasn’t aware why and what was bothering me so much.
But here is what came out:
- I didn’t like to be “scanned all over” and judged all the time only by the way how I look, by my achievements and by what I wear. I was looking for a safe container where I could release my ambiguous emotions. It turned out that men where the ones who provided that to me in a les judgmental way. Women I was surrounded with, were expecting integrity and clarity, which I wasn’t able to provide until my “late” motherhood years.
- I felt very drained, when there was too much complaining over men, life or whatever else...or when there was too much gossiping over other girls
- I felt bored with only “hanging around and talking”; I was on the lookout for sparing partners to nurture my hungry explorer, who was interested in what is out there, beyond the horizons of conventional reality of the city life we were living. I simply wanted to spend time by doing something meaningful
I was obviously in a need of a more Artemis like women. Wild, tomboyish, unpredictable, fashion free, dedicated to their craft or art… And I found them. Most of them with strong hermit archetype as well. Which was then another thing that distracted me from feeling truly connected and emotionally loyal to those women friendships. I often felt emotionally abandoned. They didn’t call and responded emotionally as much as I needed. Aphrodite in me obviously wanted to have more sensory and visibly present social interaction. I wanted to be heard, seen, followed and hugged.
I’m still reflecting on why this needed to happen. This “breakup” with girls and my greater emotional trust and honesty with men.
Was my Aphrodite suppressed and unaccepted by the school system, my current boyfriends, by my parents and family?
I found answer in Jean Shinoda’s book Godesses in Everywoman. And my clients are in awe when I explain this to them: Aphrodite women often feel rejected or not authentically accepted in “Artemisian or Demeter” lead women circles.
Why? Because women in general don’t trust her. Aphrodite is too relaxed and unaware regarding her appearance, she is not so angry with men, she enjoys herself and often indulges passionately in her own artistic creations, so her focus and commitment to “outer social” goals/achievements (or husband & children) are often distracted. That makes her “less of a woman” in serious spiritually inclined women sisterhoods. Because she is not wounded ( as Hera, Demeter and Persephone) and therefore not in a need of counseling or therapy and because she is not “ virgin” in terms of her independence from relationships (as Athena, Artemis and Hestia).
Her “fountain of love” is not deep enough, not spiritually committed enough. She doesn’t sacrifice herself for others or children (like Demeter would do), she doesn’t pursue her freedom and personal goals blindly (like Artemis would do), she isn’t devoted enough to become a divine channel for others (as Perspehone is) and she definitely isn’t devoted to truth and spirit as much as Hestia is. Her alchemy is pure mixture of enjoyment, laughter, emotional accessibility and devotion to her body plaisures and artistic creations. She lives in here and now. And that can bother other women, who don’t resonate with her “emotionally free” spirit, flying as a butterfly, from women to men, to children, never committing fully to anything.
So here I am today, contemplating my shifting attraction/ rejection to women circles. Deepening my understanding of how my Aphrodite, with occasional Artemis and Persephone visits, is flowing through life like a river.
Allowing myself to be and take part, to enjoy and honor my need to participate in sacred feminine gatherings and honor inner “hermetic” Artemis’ s need to create on my own and at the same time to respect and cherish my passionate and loving Aphrodite’ call who wants to share her passions with the world and enjoy life to the fullest.
Thankfully Perspehone is not so strong in me to drag me down into her lost labyrinth of underworld. But she is here and there offering her amazing intuitive insights and with my intentional ignition of Hestia, her deep currents are skillfully navigated. If you want to explore and understand your inner Godessess and other archetypes too, you are welcome to embark on individual self-journey to design your SoulMap with me. I will be happy to share my insights and help you ignite your sleeping inner Goddesses through dance and movement.