As you may know, Valentine’s Day is one of my favorites times of year. I love the idea that there is a whole day devoted to the concept of love, and I’ve felt this way since I was a small child. The idea of love is heightened when we feel romance or are in a relationship, but it goes so far beyond this. I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day for the last 6 years, but each year it just seems to get better and better anyways. I believe this is because love starts with how you relate to yourself and to your purpose for living. How you honor the God that lives inside of you. The closer and stronger that connection is, the better we as individuals can express love and feel love no matter what the circumstances of life bring.
We put such an emphasis on love in our society because real love is actually a rare thing. At least fully devoted, single pointed love is, where you are truly head over heels for someone. But what does it really mean to be loved or to love someone? It seems we all have a slightly different definition of this and that’s a good thing!
If you want to find the love of your life, you first need to know what makes you tick, what makes you fully come alive with energy and passion and desire. You need to know who you are, what you’re capable of, and the things you like that you yourself don’t bring to the table. Remember, great relationships are not two of the same people, but people who complement one another. If you don’t know these things, you won’t be able to recognize love when it comes your way. You’ll find yourself in the societal narrative of getting into a relationship with the guy or girl who looks good on paper that you’re at least a bit attracted to so you can have sex and get your biological needs met and pretend all is good. And so many people do this, because it’s much less scary than being alone.
If you’re brave though, or on the hero’s journey of life to really know who you are, take a step back and spend some time with you. Be honest about what you want and don’t want. Be honest with yourself about the type of life you are willing to work for and what is deeply important to you. You may be surprised how this changes your perspective and opens doors to joy you never thought were there, whether you find your perfect fit or not. Happiness is an inside job, first and foremost. Everything else is just beautiful, amazing, complementary icing on the cake.