Community//

Where are the brave men gone?

to exit the madness of the gender war

Photo by Shyam Sundar on Unsplash

The nightshades, popularly known as Belladonna have been called “the gypsies of the roadside and abandoned places“. It is the most famous poison known in human history from ancient Rome to the Middle Ages, used by hateful, revengeful and betrayed women and other ruthless schemers to kill with no remorse. Snap.

Reading about the personality and use of Belladonna in medical treatment by the excellent British and South African homeopath David Lilley, I found myself traveling back in time visiting the violent relationship of men and women, like an ongoing battle of genders from abuse of power on both sides to humiliation, hatred, shame and guilt.

We are also quite familiar today with the tragedies for humanity of the Catholic Inquisition and the upheavals of the Reformation in Europe. At some point in our history, any woman who would be seen in ceremony in the Nature or talking to animals could be accused of witchery. 

The battle goes on. 

We are becoming increasingly aware of the gender gap in civil and social rights around the world. But what we are less aware of is that we have literally killed the feminine identity within us and gone to war with the masculine. Men rape women’s bodies; women humiliate men’s psyches.

The real issue to solve is not between men and women. It is within us between the masculine and feminine.

We are redefining being a woman as a reaction to a millenium of patriarchal domination. And while we do so,  I observe that so many of us – men and women- feel abandoned within themselves: ” where is the man? what has become of him?” 

The more we push the masculine qualities in women, the more men are reduced to their role of guardian of the Left Brain and the less women love them: ” you don’t understand me, you don’t care for me, you are not present…”.

HOW COULD THEY BE? We, women, push our men to the limits of their guilt and shame. We abandon them for not being good enough for us; we blame them for not holding the space that is utterly feminine and instead, we want to become men: “If you are not going to give it to me, then, I will get it myself! I don’t need you, I am out of here”.

I see women thriving to compete instead of opening to inclusive circles. I see women who want to lead over others instead of opening to a new paradigm of leadership in integration and humility; I even see women circles who in their essence want to be men. 

“Belladonna is most active in the treatment of those whose eternal qualities and awareness have been forgotten and whose true-self has been replaced by a false-self filled with fear and anger”. David Lilley of the British Homeopathic association.

This is where we are today, in our false selves: in every one of us, the stories of seduction, domination, hatred, mistrust and greed are still living, asking to be seen and dissolved.

The future we really long for beyond that old story of war of the genders is one of inclusion. It is time really for men and women to sit equally together and speak from a place of forgiveness. 

I also see a young movement of women who are genuinely returning the lost qualities of the feminine: the mysteries, the darkness of creation, the unconditional love, the surrender to the infinite wisdom of intuition…

Redefining masculinity is essential today because we, the women have tipped over while the men are running loose.  A world where women don’t need their men anymore is not one that we can sustain for the own sake of humanity. It takes brave men to stand in the face of the wild unbalanced women we have become and forgive the wounds of the past to open a new chapter. It also takes brave women to step outside of the expected recipe of success and let go of the need to control and perform so we may together create a future of balance.

Who is going to start the dance of forgiveness is the one who will win.

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