All That Glitters Isn’t Gold

Two celebrity deaths a year ago this week had me thinking about this concept

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

Many women are looking for role models. They aspire to be better – more confident, a better girlfriend, a more loving wife, a more attractive dater, happier, more stylish or all of the above.

Role models can help you achieve goals faster.

A problem arises when you start obsessing about how badly you want someone else’s life. Role models can do more harm than good if you allow another person to make you feel bad about yourself.

Remember, when it comes to the Internet and the outer world, you’re comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. That’s just not a fair comparison. It’s not fair to you to compare yourself to someone’s carefully crafted outer image. 

As a dating coach, I sometimes dissect celebrity and other high-profile relationships to help women spot healthy courtships and marriages.

I’m all for role models, because they can inspire you and can give you goals to strive for. Good role models can inject you with excitement that motivates you to work toward a goal.

However, be careful not to let a celebrity or other role model bring you down. You have no idea what’s going on underneath. Your role model may appear to have it all, yet it may be an outer show. She may be showcasing for the world.

Two suicides – one year ago this week – in the NYC celebrity world had me thinking about this a great deal.

Kate Spade seemed to have it all on the surface – a successful handbag line in NYC, a marriage to a best friend, a daughter, all the trappings of a wealthy NYC life – yet she was still very unhappy and committed suicide.

Celebrity chief Anthony Bourdain died as well of suicide. He seemed to have the career – filled with food, travel, and culture – and a NYC lifestyle that many would envy. Yet, he had his demons.

So moral of the story is that it’s OK to have idols and role models. It’s OK to aspire to something better, grander, and to have and want to achieve certain goals. But try to never let other people’s perceived success make you feel bad. 

​Use their success to inspire and motivate you, but don’t let it get you down! 

You’re more successful in many ways than you can imagine.

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Women in the Workplace//

    How To Contribute To Workplace Progress As A Female Entrepreneur

    by Heidi Zak

    5 Ways To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

    by Rob Fajardo

    Being Dad-tastic in 2020

    by Fay McFarlane

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.