Listen to your body, it’s brilliant and has the wisdom to share with you
As part of my interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Alexis Artin. Alexis is the founder of SOULRORITY & Co-founder of the FreeBody Practice. Over the last two decades, Alexis has worked across industry lines specializing in hurdling people towards their personal best. After working with many A-list celebrities across the board in television and film, Alexis transitioned her passion and skillset for fostering potential and obtaining results in the world of self-development and transformation. She worked side by side with many of the most revered thought leaders bringing personal growth to the global stage. After being the driving force behind expanding one of the largest and most respected female empowerment companies, Alexis was inspired to parlay her expertise into creating a coaching practice serving clients all across the globe.
Her coaching brand is incredibly unique as her expertise and high touch approach are based on the interconnectedness of the body, mind, heart, and soul. Her coaching provides clients with a soul to skin experience of true and lasting transformation from the inside out. Besides being an ICF certified professional coach and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, Alexis is also licensed and certified as a Demartini Method Facilitator, Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner, and Fulfillment Coach. Alexis is most known for being a powerful speaker, prolific author, and Master Teacher of female embodiment.
Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.
I have always been interested in human behavior. As a child into adulthood, it was through dramatic arts. Understanding the characters and their stories provided insight into our individual and collective experiences while giving me a safe place to experiment with fully expressing my full range of emotions. As I got older, I transitioned from being in front of the camera to behind it, as an executive either supporting, producing alongside, or managing talent. My ability to understand how people operated, what they wanted and needed, proved valuable in catalyzing them and their projects to reach their full potential. After almost a decade working as a secret weapon for celebrities, I realized that I had been shining all my light on them to keep their star bright that I was left with none for myself. Though I was living what many called the Hollywood dream with celebrity friends and tons of money, inside, I was miserable. It was when I took a female empowerment and embodiment class that it all came together for me. It was as if a light inside turned on and illuminated the path I have been on ever since.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?
I am working on several new and exciting projects.
I just launched my e-book and am writing my next book, which will be my first to be published. I have also created an embodiment practice alongside a dear friend, who is a fellow master embodiment teacher, called the FreeBody Practice. It’s based on bringing all of who we are (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually) into one embodied practice. I am thrilled about this coming to market as it’s been a labor of love to bring this to fruition and I feel there is such a profound need for it. I have courses about to come out online, including my signature course, “Re-Inventing U” available in February. One other release on the horizon worthy of mention is a global sisterhood concept to support women in creating a strong community and culture. All this along with coaching one on one and in groups along with special events. Each of these projects is designed to do one thing, help people reclaim ALL of their power to masterfully create their most fulfilled life body, mind, heart, and soul.
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?
By the time I turned 20 I already underwent four very painful plastic surgeries. I chose to slice and dice myself on the outside to fix how I felt on the inside. In my mind, it was worth having myself sucked, tucked, stuffed, sewn, screwed, and stapled if it meant I would be more loveable. It was living through the aftermath that taught me you can’t buy love, no matter the price you pay. It’s an inside job.
According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?
I obviously know this one well, not only from personal experience but with all the people I have worked with over the last decade. There is a standard of “beauty” that society clings to that evolves over time. As an example, if you look back at different cultures over different eras you will notice a deification of certain body types. Whether it’s an Endomorph, fuller figure, in the Renaissance, or Ectomorph, heroin chic, in the nineties, there is a status that visually measures our value. People are dissatisfied with their appearances because they are measuring themselves against others or societal standards. It’s similar to brand recognition, if Louis Vuitton is desirable and trendy, we automatically recognize it and apply its value to the person carrying it, whereas we may ignore or undervalue an unrecognizable brand. The problem is we are measuring the immeasurable. People’s value runs much farther than skin deep.
Their value doesn’t fluctuate with the numbers in their bank account or on the scale. Just like the saying you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. What if you never read the book that would change your life because you didn’t like the title?
As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?
If we outsource our need for love the only thing we can be certain of is that it isn’t ours and thereby isn’t guaranteed. I always say that I believe my husband is my soulmate, AND, that doesn’t mean his love belongs to me or that I can always count on it.
Because, as unbelievable as it may be for me now, he could wake up one day and no longer love me. Furthermore, he could love me every day for the rest of his life, but that may be short if God intervenes and takes him. The ONLY love I can count on, with 100% certainty, to ALWAYS be there for me when I need it is my own. Lastly, if you don’t love yourself, what are you willing to allow to happen to you? If you don’t love yourself then you don’t value yourself and your life will reflect that.
Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?
The only reason we do anything that doesn’t truly fulfill us is fear. Beyond that, we also have to acknowledge that the only reason we do anything is that we perceive more benefits than drawbacks — or we wouldn’t do it. So we have to look at what the fear is that is keeping us “stuck” there AND look at what is serving us that we continue to stay there. Only with the awareness of what is do we have the choice to transcend it.
When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting he ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?
I am a licensed Demartini Method Facilitator so I know the power of our questions equal fulfillment in our lives. In other words, you want better results, ask better questions. Dr. Demartini’s method is the result of over 40 years of research and development in the science of human behavior and its execution using questions.
Questions are the pathway to our conscious and subconscious which hold the entirety of our experiences versus the one-sided version only our conscious recalls. This method recovers the information available to all of us that will neutralize any emotional charge, including the ones we feel around death. It has changed my life and I have seen it change the lives of anyone who applies it. In my case, it helped me find unconditional love and gratitude for someone I couldn’t ever have imagined feeling anything but disgust for.
It healed me in ways unknown by any other method. Since it has many specific questions and parameters, I won’t go into here, but I always want to bring the Demartini Method to the forefront for anyone who may not be aware of it.
As for an example of a question I might pose to someone to cut right through the protective layer we hold over our vulnerability might ask, what don’t you want me to know about you and why not?
So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?
This goes hand in hand with self-love. If you really loved yourself you would cherish quality alone time spent. You came into this life alone and will leave it the same way, it’s only fear that would keep you from doing it in the “in-between” time. The key is understanding what is driving that fear to get it out of the driver’s seat.
How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?
When you have a deeper relationship with yourself and love yourself you are better able to know your truth and advocate for what matters most to you. This results in healthy boundaries in relationships. Simultaneously you have more ability to trust or take greater “risk” by opening up to another because you are resilient in your own arms. Finally, when you know your values as a result of understanding yourself, you are better able to recognize them in others or more quickly. Adversely you will also just as promptly identify a potential conflict which gives you the ability to “troubleshoot”.
In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?
I am a huge advocate for any type of professional support. The reason I say professional is that there is no replacement for a trained and unbiased mirror. Obviously, I am partial to coaching as I tried everything else only to find what I most needed through that modality and it’s a unique approach. That said, something is better than nothing, so if it’s not professional support, any and all support will serve. The more the merrier — so long as it’s truly supportive and not parading as support with an alternate agenda. Beyond one on one or group support, there are so many wonderful tools out there for this. Books, ted talks, classes, practices (mediation, movement, etc), and so forth. Seek and you shall find, it’s the drive to do and be better individually and collectively that will allow for the rest.
What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?
1. Acknowledge your inner little one. I have a photo of my little girl on my desk and her name tattooed on my arm (note: not the name of my 2 children, but my inner child because she comes first). Our inner children are the ones who created most of the beliefs we operate under and they are often the dictators of our adult experience. Problem is, they aren’t the healthy, resourceful, and powerful adults we are and what works for them doesn’t for us. It’s important to let your healthy adult self love up on that little one so you can create a mutually beneficial relationship.
2. Listen to your body, it’s brilliant and has the wisdom to share with you. Think of all the incredible things your body does for you — digests food, eliminates waste, breathes, circulates blood and oxygen, etc. Think about all the times your body talks to you and you listen, stomach growls you eat, leg cramps you rub or stretch it, your tired you rest. Now think of all the times your body talks to you and you don’t listen! When you don’t listen, the body’s voice will escalate. First, it will tickle you with a feather and eventually hit you with a sledgehammer. The body is the number one feedback system for the soul that chose to live in it. My running life quote is “when one pretends the entire body revolts” by Anais Nin because that has always been the truth that has found me. How you are in your body is how you are in your life.
3. Invite in the voice of the spirit. Know you’re a spiritual being having a human experience. We can’t allow our human nature to live out of sync or balance with our soul. Our human nature is uncertain and externally influenced whereas our soul is certain and inwardly (divinely) inspired. When fear takes hold, it’s the human-animal part of us kicking in, that’s the time to invite the voice of spirit to enter and restore balance through opposition. I do this often when I feel challenged, the voice of soul (an acronym for the source of unconditional love) comes in to reassure me.
4. I create a world in every moment that inspires my love and deep connection to self. I indulge in this mentally, emotionally, and physically in what brings me home to myself. I surf my mind, I journal, I read old journals, I look at pictures, I read books, I watch things that open my heart and mind, I connect with loved ones, I listen to music, I drive to the ocean or walk in the woods, I light candles or burn incense, I breathe, I dance, I laugh and cry (sometimes all at once).
5. I remove the barriers to love. I constantly look at what challenges my ability to be in deep presence and connection with myself and clear it out. It’s about taking inventory of the people, places, and things that drain you of energy versus fill you with it. You can do this as a list, and there is no maybe column, so if it’s not a yes, call it a no for now (it always shifts later).
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?
Dr. Demartini is my number 1 of all time. His method is incomparable to anything out there when it comes to mastery in creating fulfillment in all key areas of life. Hands down. He has so many resources out there it’s mind-blowing, I highly recommend anyone and everyone checking it out.
I am in a group called 4PC which is a group for the top 4% of extraordinary leaders and coaches founded by one of my mentor coaches, Rich Litvin. Rich is a world-class coach and has tons of great content out there I highly recommend it to anyone, even if they aren’t in the self-development field themselves. In particular, he has a podcast called 1 Insight that is simply him coaching people until they have their a-ha moment and it’s quite brilliant.
One of the greatest books I have read is called “The Human Ground” by Stanley Keleman. He is considered the godfather of somatics and that was his first publication. Understanding what shapes us foundationally is of crucial importance and no one explains it better than Stanley.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
I would inspire a movement where everyone knows the way back home to themselves. To their own mastery, expertise, and sovereignty. To knowing and trusting their ability to be leaders rather than followers in their own life. To come from and back to love.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by?
Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?
“Own it, or someone else will.” It’s a quote that I came up with when I was asked in an interview what quote I might like having on my headstone for people centuries from now to ponder. It’s the summation of everything I stand for and I think it speaks for itself. I come from fierce love, I don’t know any other way, and hope for the world is to live life knowing this a choice and it’s theirs alone to make.
Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights