Throughout Alex Simpson’s expansive career in Papua New Guinea, he has come to learn that both personally and professionally, having hatred or holding grudges only stagnates your life. Ultimately, be it a client or coworker, the offender is only renting out space in your head. As an experienced and respected professional in his area, Simpson has come to learn that taking the high road and forgiving some after a dispute or misunderstanding is always best. Below are four bonafide paths down the road to forgiveness.
Ask for an apology.
Are you a fan of a contrite heart? Then seek out an apology from the person who hurt you. Not all acts of thoughtlessness or insensitivity are premeditated. Humans make mistakes. They aren’t aware of their poor behavior.
How to forgive: Meet the person one-on-one. Explain why you’re upset. Let him or her speak. Then, say an apology would help you move past the event.
Examine intentions.
Use this option for offenses from partners and close colleagues. These two groups are the ones that overstep boundaries out of friendship. Under normal circumstances, they don’t want to hurt you, they want to help you. But, at times, their behavior is off.
How to forgive: Think about your history with this individual. Is he or she someone who tries to disrupt your life or damage your spirit? If not, reflect on what success you may have found with that person before. Fond memories often overshadow a few upsets.
Pursue justice.
Unforgiveness is cemented in a feeling of being taken advantage of. The depth and pain depend on the perceived loss and circumstances. So, there are times that justice must be served in order to release hatred and anger. This is often true if a crime was committed against you. Seeing the perpetrator receive justice starts the journey toward forgiveness.
How to forgive: Decide if a law was broken. Then, seek counsel from the appropriate party. You may need to contact a police officer or attorney.
Write out your emotions.
This one is easy and noncombative. You release all the emotions surrounding an offense without confronting anyone. Putting your feelings down on paper offers clarity. There’s also the extra bonus of privacy.
How to forgive: Get a pen and paper. Go off by yourself, and write a letter to the client, business partner, or employee. Tell him or her what you think about them and their actions.
For Alex Simpson, the above methods have been beyond helpful, not only in his professional life but in his personal life as well. The need to forgive is universal. For more insightful business tips, visit Alex Simpson’s blog or connect on LinkedIn!