A guy crying

My greatest fear had been the fear of losing a loved one. I feel bad each time I hear a breakup story. But I never knew I would experience it someday.

All through my childhood, I was taught to love unconditionally. But this ideology had been my Achilles’ heel ever since I started dating. I tend to love too much and end up being taken for granted.

I started dating at the age of 20. Since then, I’ve had 2 breakups, but the final one was so painful that I decided to give up on love.

I never knew my relationship would end this way until that faithful Sunday evening. I was lying on my bed, still thinking about the misunderstanding I had with my girlfriend, Helen, over the issue of lesbianism.

Suddenly, my phone beeped, it was her. I quickly opened the text, expecting to see an apology letter, maybe over what happened last time I visited her. But guess what? It was a breakup text.

I quickly went to the bathroom to rinse my face as I thought I was dreaming, only to realize it’s real. I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, still pondering on what to do next.

I finally decided to call her to know exactly what the text was all about. But unfortunately, she didn’t pick. I went ahead to reply to her text but got no response. I logged in to my Facebook and then WhatsApp, but discovered she had already blocked me.

Out of anger, I smashed my phone on the wall, as tears dropped from my eyes like rainfall. I so much love her. Why on earth would she do such a thing? Have I done anything wrong? I asked myself.  At that point, I began to develop low self-esteem. At least, I am a human and ought to be respected. But she never cared about how I would feel at the end. I stayed for the whole week crying and wishing I had not met her. The whole week was so severe to me, and I started thinking about how to stop loving her but couldn’t find any helpful solution.

I met Helen on Facebook, 9 months after my first breakup. We decided to meet and she invited me to a Crusade in her Church as an opportunity to meet her for the first time.

Ever since I met her, we never stay for a day without calling each other. A day without hearing from her was like a thousand years to me. Although it was a long-term relationship, our love grew faster than I ever expected.

All these continued until after a year. I discovered that Helen is a Lesbian. How did I know? I saw her romancing her female friend the day I paid her a surprise visit. Having known that I have discovered her true identity, she asked me to leave.

I apologized to her for violating her privacy but she wouldn’t listen. Later in the evening, I decided to call her but she refused to pick, neither did she returned my call. We stayed for about 2 weeks without contacting each other. But the greatest mistake I made was to remain silent instead of trying to solve the problem once and for all.

I never knew she had fallen out of love with me. Maybe she was thinking about the right way to end the relationship. And later decided to do it over the text.

To be honest with you, I fell in love with Helen out of lust. I was charmed by her beauty. I believe it was love at first sight.

Ever since I met her, I’ve never logged in to Facebook for a day, without looking at her pictures before signing out. I thought I was really in love but didn’t know it was infatuation. I was even thinking about marrying her if it is the will of God. But unfortunately, she took me unaware. She ghosted me without a warning.

I never wanted to end the relationship simply because she is a Lesbian. Although it’s against my Christian doctrine. All I wanted was to know if she could be converted. But unfortunately, I couldn’t execute my plans.

My girlfriend’s abrupt exist forced me to stop searching for love. I believe in true love in the past. But now, I’ve come to the conclusion that true love doesn’t exist. If it does, she wouldn’t have ended our relationship for no just cost.

At this moment, I see every girl as a player in disguise, no matter how beautiful you are. I will never think of dating you. I will rather be in a platonic friendship than to date over again.

It took me nearly 3 months to recover from the pains I went through. I decided to seek help online since I had no therapist to discuss my problems with. Lucky for me, I found a piece of breakup advice that helped me.

But this experience has taught me one thing-all that glitters is not gold. If you are searching for love, don’t be deceived by your partner’s appearance or beauty. Many have failed in their relationships as a result of this costly mistake-love at first sight.

I was charmed by the beauty of a woman without knowing that she’s totally different from who I thought she was. She attends a church like everyone else but has a character I dislike.

Having gone through this experience, I decided to lunch a blog I titled “Powerful Sight” as a platform to help all those passing through the same experience I went through.

Up till now, I’ve decided to remain single than to fall in love again. My last breakup made me believe that true love doesn’t exist.

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