Change is the only constant. Yes, we’ve all heard this and known this phrase all along but when faced with a real situation, it’s the one thing we don’t want to hear, especially if it was a change we weren’t expecting. Whether it’s emotional attachment, an interruption in the way of life we’re used to, inclusion or exclusion of something or someone in an existing set-up, they’re all reasons that have the potential to let us question – why. And it’s only natural to do so. Change of any kind is first questioned, not necessarily thought to be the best thing to have happened and at times even resented.
The first big change in my life was at a fairly older age of 22 when my family concurred on the decision of redeveloping our beautiful ancestral home of more than 70 years. We were a big joint family and it had taken a few years for this decision to be firmed up. While I knew that such plans were in the pipeline, when the deal was actually signed and it was time to move, it hit us all that a really big change was underway and that we were all going to cease living under the same roof in that old house that we all revered up to.
It was a place which had seen at least 4 generations come and go, births, deaths, weddings and much more. The old world charm of the house had many a visitors curious about its long existence as did its architectural style. Growing up in such an old property was nothing less than a privileged experience. And then, to have it all go away and surrender to a more contemporary place didn’t seem to be the most exciting idea to me. Moreover, the whole family would now have their individual apartments which meant we’d no longer be together in the same house. To see our house brought down was not only heart breaking but also a reminder that nothing lasts forever.
While losing that beauty was inevitable, it didn’t mean that we were going to stop being family. The decision to redevelop the property was done for very practical reasons and only meant for something better for everyone’s future. We still had memories of the old house that would last us a lifetime and we would still create more in the new place. We would still be together for all celebrations and other times in need as a family. Change of place didn’t have to change anything else, except one – changing denial into acceptance.
Accepting that the change would bring about newness to the place, give it a facelift and a new name but still have the same people living there made it seem like it would still have the same soul. The same one which we had all grown so comfortable with over the years. Embracing that acceptance slowly made us comfortable with the change we were going through.
Dealing with change is never easy no matter how well prepared you are. But accepting what has happened can often be the first step to coming to terms with it. It gives you the strength to deal with it better and believe it or not, in hindsight most changes seem to have happened for the best.