Do you have a choice?
Whether you want it or not, time will pass by. Whether you want it or not, you are moving along, with every passing second. Sooner or later you have to come in terms with what happened or what is going to happen. It will keep you peaceful, sane, more than everything it will make you feel grateful to life for “giving you something” in the first place.
Acceptance can be a confusing word. Some things get called “unacceptable” because they are clearly bad in some ways. And yet if you allow such events or behaviour to bother you then someone wise will inevitably turn around and say something like “You need to accept it”. Things happen throughout the course of our lives that we simply have no control of. Whether it is a serious illness, or the loss of someone, or losing something that means the world to us.
There is also things that happen that you are solely responsible for: that you are ashamed of, and wish you could take back, but you can’t. Sometimes you’re an observer of other people’s lives and you think you’ll never experience what they’re living, whether it’s a positive or negative situation. You think, “That will never happen to me.”
Part of the real beauty of life is that it’s unpredictable. Nothing is permanent, everything changes; and of course, a lot of things can happen that will transform who you are and have an impact on your life. The problem is that we need to cultivate the ability to truly accept whatever comes and embrace it.
Firstly, you must accept the situation that you are in. You must be able to reassure yourself that everything in life happens for a reason. Whatever burden you are facing isn’t accidental. You have to simply look at it as an opportunity for a new beginning. You are still capable of doing great things in life, but you have to accept your past and build on it.
If you can do all of that, you can look forward to these things beginning to happen.
1. You will start to have more faith in yourself.
The only person that can stand in your way is you. If you have faith in yourself to accept, and overcome life changes, then you will be able to take on problems like this for the rest of your life.
2. You will be able to think more rationally.
Once you start to lift the burden off of yourself, you will become less stressed, and be able to think more rationally.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis
Acceptance has many benefits:
- A more positive attitude
- Less worry and stress
- Less energy drained from trying to figure things out
- Ability to embrace change
- Greater appreciation and gratitude
- A more compassionate perspective
Accepting the reality of your life sounds like it should be easy enough. But many, many people hold to a different version. It may be based in regret, disappointment, denial, or just waiting for something better–a promotion, for the kids to be grown, retirement, whatever.
Ways to accept things.
Support yourself through the learning process
Your initial reaction may be to think that acceptance is anything from difficult to impossible. It’s good to empathize with yourself by seeing that as entirely natural and understandable. It’s not a crime to find acceptance challenging so allow yourself to feel the way you do and relax about it.
Let go of the past
We all have baggage that we carry from our past, and this baggage gets heavier the longer we hold onto it. Many people have a hard time letting go of past. We carry a mental reminder of our mistakes and losses with us everywhere we go, not realizing how much they steal from our present joy and contentment.
Admit your mistakes.
Remember that you can’t fix anything until you admit there’s a problem. Try to view your mistakes not as failures but as learning opportunities, and have the strength within to realize you control your reality and you’re the only one who can change it.
Don’t let fear get in your way.
Don’t let fears–especially fears of what others think of you–stand in your way. You must be willing to do things in the unique ways you think are best, and to reflect on any feedback you receive.
Set new goals
When we run into failure or setbacks it can feel like we are stuck with nowhere to turn. Life will take unexpected turns and when this happens our trajectory might have to change as well. There is a point where it is in our best interest to move on and let go of what we want. If something doesn’t work the way we planned, don’t get caught up in the outcome.
Remember: Life will go on, with or without you. So you really only have two choices: either you move on with life or let life leave you behind. Which will it be?