Between content overload, too many choices and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) it’s no wonder so many adults and kids alike are struggling with stress, anxiety and paralysis that come with indecisiveness and overwhelm.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way.
When trapped in a state of confusion, ask yourself three simple questions –
· How do you feel?
· What’s the message?
· What next?
These three simple questions will set you free when dealing with Matters of the Heart as well as with Matters of the Mind.
Let’s see how it works –
You’re stuck in a relationship that isn’t working for you and can’t decide what to do about it. The relationship can be romantic, with a friend, a family member, a co-worker or any other.
How do you feel?
Start by asking yourself how you feel, when you’re with this person: What sensations fill your tummy, when you’re together? Does this person make you feel like a fearless superhero bursting with confidence, ready to conquer the world? Or, does s/he make you feel small, anxious, manipulated and perhaps even invisible?
Focus on your spontaneous emotions stripped of any kind of analysis or attempt to explain or justify. There is no one correct answer. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. The point is, does this individual stir in you the kinds of emotions that you’re longing to feel?
What’s the message?
The next question is about clarity and transparency. Ask yourself what message this person is sending you. Are his/her intentions, whatever they may be, crystal clear? Do you know where you stand with him/her and where your relationship is going? Or, is this individual playing mind-games with you, constantly sending you mixed messages, so that your head never stops spinning and your knickers are always in a twist?
Once again, there is no correct answer, but here’s the thing — if the message isn’t clear, that in itself is an indication that something is not right.
The final question — what next? — relates to the impact the person in question has on you, when you are apart. Are you bursting with joy? Are you already planning another meeting and looking forward to spending more quality time together? Are you inspired to take action in one form or another? Or, do you simply go about your day, business as usual and even keep the relationship a secret in order to avoid any questions that may come up from friends and family? Another way of putting it, “Will you miss this individual, if you never see him/her again?”
For better or for worse, whatever you do next is a clear indication of how you feel about this person, the essence of your relationship and what it brings to your life.
By asking yourself these three simple questions, and more important, by answering them honestly and intuitively, you should be able to figure out how you feel about someone, you’re involved with, romantically or otherwise, as well as the worthiness of your relationship.
Now let’s take a look how these 3 simple questions can be applied to content, particularly content that is intended to first reel you in and then get you to take action of one sort or another.
How do you feel?
The first question, “How do you feel while reading the text, listening to the audio, or viewing the video?” relates to your spontaneous reaction, while engaging with content whatever its format may be.
Are you genuinely intrigued or are you bored stiff? Are you excited by the information you’re being exposed to or are you totally confused, because you just don’t get it? Is the experience a pleasurable one? Does it make you laugh? Does it provoke you to think? Or, does it make your feel uncomfortable and even piss you off? Or worse yet, does it leave you indifferent?
Once again, there is no one correct answer. Every piece of content is different and has a different purpose. As with Matters of the Heart, the important question is, “Does the content trigger in you the kinds of emotions that you are seeking, emotions that will help you move forward?”
What’s the message?
The second question, “What is the message of the text? What are you, as a reader, a listener of a viewer taking away with you?” relates to clarity. Regardless what the message of the content is, it needs to be coherent. Moreover, is what you take away from the content, what the writer actually intended? If you read a text, listen to a podcast or view a video and aren’t sure what it’s all about, chances are the writer or presenter hasn’t done as good a job and is probably wasting your time.
The third question, “What is the first action you take after engaging with the content?” relates to call for action. Do you check out the links within the text? Do you LIKE the item, share it within your social networks, or add a comment in the comment box below? Do you follow the writer? Do you sign up to the offer or for more free updates? Or, do you do nothing at all and move on?
Matters of the Mind are really no different from Matters of the Heart. Similarly, by asking and answering these three simple questions, you should be able to figure out if the content in question deserves your time and attention. Whether you rely on your answer to one question alone or go by all three in conjunction, is entirely up to you and may change from one situation to another.
This KISS Solution brings together heart, mind and action in a quick and easy manner. It’s applicable to almost any situation, and what’s more, because it is simple and straightforward, it’s easy to teach little ones.
For me, it’s a way of life.
It’s time to take control of our lives.
It’s Time 2 Lead.
It’s time to THRIVE.
Originally published at medium.com