Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m still single and in search of a beau.
Why is it that right after the holidays comes Valentine’s Day? I mean isn’t it enough to be single during the holidays to then be hit again with another emotional day like Valentine’s Day?
I know how it feels, hun. I’ve been in that place.
Just like you, I dreaded Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t bear to see another couple post a picture about their romantic date or their engagement pictures and videos. It made me feel very insecure and I used to ask myself questions like, “When will I find true love?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Am I not loveable?” “Am I not good enough?”
And I mean, who wouldn’t feel insecure when you have an aunt always asking you when you plan to get married, grandparents begging you to get married so they can witness your wedding, and two younger cousins who got married before you. *Emphasis on the younger.
So how do you make sure to keep your cool on this dreaded day?
Here are some ways you can turn Valentine’s Day into an Amazing Day.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
If you know you’re going to hear your friends talk about their Valentine’s Day plans or see those romantic pictures on social media, don’t be alarmed when it does happen. The best way to prepare is to come up with a plan for when it happens. One way to prepare is by deciding on your reaction, in advance, so you can feel in control of the situation. You can do this by following the If/Then structure and writing it down to crystalize it in your mind.
Use this example for inspiration: If [my friends talk to me about their Valentine’s Day plans, Then [I will genuinely be happy for them and know, in my heart, that I am worthy enough to also be loved].
Stop the Inner Critic
This may be a time when your inner critic may be yelling a little louder than usual. This is perfectly normal. Everyone has an inner critic, however, the difference is in how you handle it.
As soon as you hear your inner critic say things like, “You’ll never find your prince charming.” “You’re too broken for anyone to love you.” “Why would anyone want to be with you?”
I want you to combat that statement by stating something to the like of: “I forgive myself for thinking these negative thoughts and give myself permission to love myself in this season of my life.”
I’m sure you know what I’m going to suggest. Yes, I know. It sounds silly but it really does work. Make a point to make plans with yourself on that day. Treat yourself to something special. You can have a spa day, go on a weekend getaway or even treat yourself to a nice outing with friends. Remember that you have the ability to choose how you get to spend Valentine’s Day.
Depending on what you focus on, this Valentine’s Day can be the best one yet or the worst in the books. Choose a focus for that day. You can focus on the abundance this world has to offer in every aspect of your life. You can also focus on peace by meditating or abstaining from gossip or conflict, or admiring the stars at night. Determine what you want to focus on this Valentine’s Day and you’ll realize that it can be a very insightful, refreshing day.
Ingrid is a Self-Love coach for Christian Ladies that helps them fall in love with themselves so they can excel in every area of their life. For more on how to love yourself, download Ingrid’s FREE workbook on How to Turn Self-Doubt into Self-Love.
Originally published at medium.com