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A shell of my former self

When you find yourself in a place of confusion, wondering what happened... When you don't recognise the person staring back at you in the mirror. When you can't function daily.

You may find yourself a shell of your former self asking, ‘what happened’?

All those dreams, smashed in to small pieces, just like a china cup you have dropped. You had no idea they weren’t real when you were creating them.

You believed them all to be true. You immersed yourself in that dream, and that is what it was, a dream.

It wasn’t real, none of it.

You wake up one day and it is all gone and you are a shell of your former self. The joy has been stolen from you and you are left picking up the pieces. You have nothing left to give yourself or others. You can barely function but you are expected to carry on.

There is nothing behind your eyes, not even sadness… YOU have left the building!

I know it wasn’t your choice, I know your whole world is now consumed with replaying every single part of your life together; asking where did you go wrong? What did you say?

If only you had said or had done something differently, you wouldn’t be here, because it is all your fault wasn’t it…

And you know that, because they told you it was…

None of this was their fault! And you know that, because they told you so.

Please let me help you with this, yes it was your fault!

Yes it was your fault!

You didn’t listen to your intuition. You stayed when many would have run away… You have a wound that needs healing.

You were targeted for your energy, for your beauty, for your love. A connection was made with you, it was draining you of your energy. Draining you of the parts that were missing in their life.

And this is why you are a shell of your former self!

So, although this wasn’t your fault and you had no idea, on some level you knew something wasn’t quite right. You saw the RED FLAGS, you chose to overlook what your intuition was telling you, this is why I say it is your fault.

Our intuition is the ancient knowledge held within our cells.

Your gut told you something was wrong, but you saw something else and chose to stay; you chose to help this person.

Something deep within you; the healer you, chose to stay, why?

When they had taken everything you had to give, you were no longer any use to them. Perhaps you ran out of money or you didn’t have the time they demanded of you, maybe it was because you could no longer function, that they went off and found someone else to drain.

Don’t be sad, be grateful, but with compassion for their next victim.

I know that emptiness, I understand how difficult it is to get up and show up. I understand the confusion you are feeling.

This is the time for no limits; it is self care all the way!

Treat yourself as if you were a child. Nurture yourself. Indulge yourself.

Get in to really good habits…

I remember the moment I looked in the mirror and realised I was back, when I looked in the mirror and saw a person behind the eyes.

But she wasn’t the person who had disappeared…

There was something stronger but softer at the same time, a deeper knowledge was emerging as she came out of her shell!

I had been told I had trust issues and I had, I hadn’t trusted her!

She was someone I had known for a very long time; but she had been hiding in the shadows waiting to emerge.

If you are a shadow of your former self, reach out, I will be there for you, and I can show you where the gift is!

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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