Community//

A Letter to My Lover, As I Leave You

From Your Beautiful

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To My Beloved,

Thank you for loving me with all the love you had to give.

Thank you for pushing yourself to the very edge of your capacity to be the best you knew how to be trying harder and more lovingly than ever before, so I might heal the part of me that wondered if I was worth such effort.

Thank you for showing me how much I deserve…in what you gave me and in what you failed to give me. In denying me, you shared that beautiful truth.

Thank you for your time, your words, your touch, your kiss, your tenderness, your thoughtfulness and generosity in a thousand ways…big and small. 

Thank you for showing me what is possible, opening my heart to the magic of a second-half love.

Thank you for reminding me to dream and to believe that I can have those dreams come true.

Thank you for accepting me where I am…in all my shortcomings…and still pushing me to be more.

Thank you for hurting me so I might know my strength, my clarity, and the power of my love.

Thank you for showing up in self-deception…for hiding from yourself and from me…so that I would be reminded to repair my relationship with myself and my inner voice.

Thank you for breaking my trust over and over so I might remember to trust myself over all others.

I am sorry that I kept hurting you with my disappointment. I am sorry that you experienced yourself as less than in the dark corners of our union. I saw your magnificent potential and scorched you with its warmth.

I am sorry that I couldn’t love you more freely…that you never experienced me for more than a moment in the fullness of my love. My joy. My passion. My vulnerability. You saw more of my strength than my softness…and often heard the haunting echoes of my loneliness.

I forgive you…and myself…for our incompleteness.

I celebrate our love…and the part of the path we shared. The moments of wonder, of love, of peace, of hope, of courage, of comfort, of laughter, of adventure, of bliss…of giving, receiving, sharing, and wanting. Our easy way of coming together, and conviction not to fall apart. You were mistaken in your accusation of the shallowness of my love for you. That my goodbye reveals it.

I love you unyieldingly and am holding deep sadness that our paths are separating. I wanted…and tried so, so hard…to ensure that they would be joined forever.

But love isn’t enough to hold two people…two souls…together. Love is a feeling and can only be put into action with the help of courage and intention.

Loving you…and being with you…can be at odds. I know this all too well, my Love. In more ways than you might comprehend, you will be the standard by which I assess future loves. 

I send you love and gratitude across the ethers of time and space, without reservation. Without end.

Yours, Me

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