She was named by Oprah as a “thought leader for the next generation.” But in the months’ post #MeToo and #TimesUp, Marie Forleo hasn’t rectified a dangerous mistake made in July 2013.
I’m referring to her YouTube video Is Your Business A Homewrecker? 3 Steps To Save Your Marriage. I recently stumbled across this atrocity accidentally.
If you are not familiar with the celebrity status of Ms. Forleo, she is considered an influencer. Forleo has an impressive social media following, including 547K YouTube followers and 570K on Facebook (as of this writing.)
It doesn’t end there. Take a fast peek at her website and you’ll see happy and engaged photos of Marie hanging out with other celebrity social-thought leaders including Ariana Huffington, Tony Robbins, and even Sir Richard Branson.
I may not be a Marie follower, but rest assured there are many who seem to glom on to every word she utters. That is what worries me.
In today’s #MeToo and #TimesUp climate, I want to know why Marie hasn’t taken down this video? (You can also google Marie Forleo ‘Blow His Mind,’ to find a piece of the worst advice you’ll ever hear.)
The message is troubling. The meaning is clear. The consequences are dangerous.
This video’s over-arching message is: You (females) are pawns and servants to the Prostitute Archetype. Above all else, you are valued for only one thing. Forleo’s advice is a knife in the back to all women who want to be valued as the human beings they are based on the skills, talents, and personal attributes they possess.
This message is especially dangerous for young women entering adulthood. While the video comes off as an attempt at being quirky or amusing, the intent and purpose is anything but.
My daughters were ages 12 and 15 when this video was released. Thankfully, they never saw it. But the problem is – the video is still up on Forleo’s YouTube channel. It hasn’t been edited or revised since the cultural tsunami of the #MeToo Movement hit the shore.
The message isn’t only damaging to young women. It is an archaic and offensive message to all women of any age. Thanks, Marie Forleo. (It also sends the wrong message to men, but that’s a different post for another time.)
*Note: This article is not about the rightness or wrongness of sex or the act of fellatio (which Forleo refers to as ‘blowing his mind’). Nor do I seek to dissuade you from having the most ‘mind-blowing’ sex-life imaginable. Let us all have amazingly satisfying sex lives!
As an author, I actually write on the importance of unleashing your sensuality and sexuality. #HellYes. But… that’s not what’s going on in this video. This isn’t about ‘mind-blowing’ consensual sex. It is simply about the exhausted old trope which infers women should be manipulative instead of owning their right to independence and equality.
In the video, Marie begins by explaining if your spouse or partner is not on board with you starting and owning a business you need to start by looking in the mirror. This implies you are at fault. She then goes on to share 3 specific points.
#IMHO, I say she was dead wrong, destructive, and dangerous on points 1 and 2 in the video. She did, however, get point 3 right.
Point 1: Make ‘Him’ your #1 priority. You have to demonstrate it and he has to ‘feel’ it. You do this by verbally articulating he is your hero. (I believe you should be your own hero. What you are doing is hard as Hell. You don’t need anyone else to be your hero.)
Point 2: ‘Blow His Mind. Regularly.’ Not only that, you have to make it your job to blow his mind. Forleo adds, if you haven’t been blowing his mind lately, that is the reason your husband is not supportive of your business. (Thank God Forleo let me know this. It must be part of the B-School curriculum because I don’t think they teach this at Wharton.)
Forleo even provides a tweet: “If your husband’s not impressed with your business, make it your job to blow his mind.” Unfortunately, Forleo isn’t saying blow his mind by making your business super successful. Then the video cuts to Marvin Gaye singing Sexual Healing. Forleo’s innuendos stop short of yanking her arm up and down while sticking her tongue in her cheek, but barely.
Point 3: Clearly articulate your business vision to your husband and confirm he hears it. This I agree with.
My daughters, now ages 18 and 21, are attempting to ‘adult’ and all that implies. They have worked hard to become the smart, kind, enthusiastic, and creative souls they are today. They are ready to take on the world with their brains, wit, and unique abilities. However, it won’t occur to either that their success relies on the act of fellatio, whether it be with their future spouse/partner or employer.
Forleo’s advice to women is to be manipulative and conniving. Besides promoting low self-worth and feelings of inferiority, it tells women they are not their own #1 priority.
Instead, it tells women they are second-class citizens, relegated to using sex as a means of survival and to be ready to flush their emotions and standards down the toilet to garner the cooperation or approval of a male.
Was this video meant to be goofy and funny? Ms. Forleo isn’t laughing. I think she is serious. Does she still feel this way five years later? If not, why hasn’t this video been pulled down?
Many, if not the majority of women, have deep-seated emotional blocks with money — having it, making it, spending it. If you throw in the destructive concept that sex is currency and the most effective way to influence and succeed is to ‘blow someone’s mind,’ the problem only gets worse.
Want to join me in asking Ms. Forleo to take down this video and apologize to all women?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. As a side note, it is interesting to acknowledge the positive remarks left for Ms. Forleo in the YouTube comments. That was five years ago. Do women still feel they want to leave positive remarks considering what we’ve recently witnessed and lived through? #Sexualharassment and #Sexualabuse are real.