So many times I have sat down to write this piece and so many times I have immediately mastered the art of procrastination. Scrolling through Instagram, refreshing Facebook, back to Insta and starting again.
For some reason, the idea of writing a piece just absolutely terrifies me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve written the odd blog post before (and ghost written for other people) BUT somehow, when it’s my business, when I’m putting it out there under me – it’s a WHOLE other matter.
I felt like a child, kicking and screaming – don’t make me do it! I’ve got SO many other important things to do (ahem) and I don’t have time to sit down and write.
I don’t have time. Hmmm.
And then I thought – what else don’t I have time for?
Doing my nails. Putting a hair mask on. Having a long bath (anyone else just get bored?). Doing Yoga. Cooking a big meal. Having a lie in. Watching that new Netflix series.
So if I don’t have time for this, what on earth am I spending my time on?
Quite simply –
- Getting up early.
- Drinking coffee.
- Going to the gym.
- Working (the kind where you do it for everyone else because you don’t want to be a let down, but when it comes to your own stuff.. another matter).
- Scrolling through social media.. EXCESSIVELY. (Whoops)
- Drinking more coffee.
- Going out for dinner and drinks in the evening.
- Falling into bed.
- And repeat.
Hold on – so the stuff where I am constantly ‘go, go, go’, I have time for. Yet the things that mean I need to slow down, chill out and take some me time.. I just can’t find the time.
My brain is constantly ticking over, thinking of the next job that needs doing, that suddenly I don’t have time to stop.
It’s the end of the end. I went to Manchester on Monday this week to work on a project that I am SO excited about and got back yesterday. I have been feeling constantly inspired and totally in my element over the last few days.
Suddenly, my priorities changed
I made sure I got enough sleep. I didn’t drink. I ate well. I kept hydrated. I gave myself time to do yoga, journal and meditate.
That all important reflection time became second nature and of course I’m going to focus on myself because I need to make sure I am at my best.
It got me thinking.. why is it only at this time that I actually really looked after myself? Why shouldn’t it be all the time?
Well, first place my head goes to is, ‘Yes but Amy, in London you simply can’t fit it all in.’
So, because of my inability to fit in my self care, it’s only happening when I either a) reach burnout and end up sick or b) have something SO important that my self care instinct kicks in.
I’m just living the cycle of the constant ‘go-getter’ without the time out.
The same can be said for my business too. In a recent conversation with my business coach, I mentioned how I felt that I was so busy doing work for everyone else, I didn’t get to do my own work justice.
But if I don’t live my life, appreciating the experiences I have, taking time to myself to reflect and appreciate and invest in myself, my passions, my relationships and my friendships.. then who am I?
Do I lose that sense of identity, the ‘doing’ that makes me an individual, broadens my horizons, makes me feel inspired, establishes new connections and shares new stories? Do I just become some sort of living, breathing, coffee drinking, working machine?
I have to think that yes, yes I do.
So today, I have given myself a day especially for myself.
To sleep in. To do yoga. To pay my taxes (yuk) and tick off a couple of bits from my to-do list that I have been putting off for ages.
Most importantly, taking myself to a coffee shop, having a piece of cake and giving myself time to reflect on the last week.
I’ve been sat here for the last couple of hours reading, watching videos and learning more about communication, gender and the movement that is happening with women taking a stand this year. Honestly, if you haven’t heard of Girl Effect or watched TIME’s ‘It’s A New Era For Women’ video, I highly recommend checking them out.
I feel inspired, I feel passionate and look what’s happened.. I’m here, I’ve found the time to write this blog.
Do you feel the same? Are there things that you make time for? Or you’d like to make time for?