Heal yourself first

You are your own oxygen mask

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Motherhood has been a very gentle and embracing experience for me. It connected and inspired me in many ways.

One thing that I learnt from my daughter was mindfulness. She was being taught in her school how to analyse things with mind over matter.

Heal yourself first

For instance, on a grey gloomy day while I moaned for a moment, she had a quick look at the sky and said, ‘that’s normal for this time of the year’. Her ability to understand and accept things the way they were surprised me.

She had learnt how to go around the things we had no control over. She did that with the help of her entire team. She brought with her a compliment letter every month. In which she complimented herself, followed by some positive feedback of her friends and teacher with some empty space left for the family member to fill in.

That particular day, she not only felt cherished but gave us all a moment of pride to feel blessed for her.

This feeling to be kind to one’s self, to see positivity in others as community and family is what brings happiness on a completely new level.

Her ability to ignore the weaknesses of others, to be self confident yet caring and helpful, made me look at things on a different level too.

As a child I remember being taught religious studies. To be kind, honest and helpful to others is a recurring bottom line theme of every religion. The purpose being a ripple effect, of becoming a responsible and caring system.

Mindfulness is perhaps the same thing. It also involves self-care.

Prayer had always been one powerful reminder of self love for me. A concern and a mean to develop a stronger mind, body and soul connection…a way to channelise and align my frequency to get spiritual help.

The prayer strengthens the belief, signals relief and patience in moments of immense agony. It gives strength to stay firm yet dutiful, which keeps a check on future repercussions until the reward and humbled elation of gratitude.

In today’s world this prayer is perhaps called mindfulness. The connection of mind, body and soul… to be forgiving, to accept and be kind to one’s self. This is also a charity that should begin from one’s self first.

My pen journey has enabled me to witness a number of people, of different age, gender and religions in diverse time or space mode.

From time to time we all feel stuck in a confused maze, we lack clarity, focus and decision power. Our past events and experience strangle us and we overthink about future insecurities. This makes happiness escape us over and over again.

This life is indeed a maze, like Alice we wander in the wonderland, get stuck, feel stressed, anxious and overworked trying hard to achieve work life balance.

If work is our need, bread and butter, then family or loved ones are our protective cushion. Yet both equations are impossible without adding self care.

It is believed that gut and mind have a strong co-relation. Fatigue, over work, anxiety and exhaustion calls for stress signal where cells crave for more sugar, unhealthy carbs and processed food. A quick fix. The choice of fast food and unhealthy alternatives give rise to unbalanced body system, prone to diseases and frequent infections.

Which are body’s signals to facilitate healthy lifestyle decisions. A few changes at mental, emotional and spiritual level too, to achieve harmony or happiness.

Today, despite all technology, information and knowledge happiness remains a secret potion. The successful people are not always happy, the happy ones are not always rich and famous.

There is somewhere a formula for alignment with one’s self, with society and the world that has been missed somewhere.

In my opinion it could be of simplicity, minimalism and staying close to nature.

Down below are few of the things, that we all need to consider when being our own worst critic in an unhappy world.

1. Acceptance: I have realised nothing is a co-incident but a well woven programme. The events, the characters, opportunities and failure shape us into a person we are today. Let us accept!! It is normal!

2. Kindness: Acceptance with all weakness and strength, leads to a better understanding of one’s self. Be kind to yourself! How? Try to come out of self doubt and victim thinking.

3. Forgiveness: kindness opens door to forgiveness. Forgiveness is a declutter programme of the mind and heart, to create more space to love. To develop clarity of thought and get attached to universal wisdom. Forgiveness is that gentle nurturing embrace to one’s own self that brings a freedom from suffocating emotional attachment. The times we forgive makes us those branches that bow down with fruits. Forgive, let go but remember the lesson.

4. Living in present moment: forgiveness brings us out from shackles of past failures and baits if projected fears in future. It increases the focus and belief which help to make a better decision.

5. Gratitude: living in present moment brings gratitude, passion and attracts goals with ease and flow. It attracts the possibility to see positivity in every situation which opens new destinations to explore.

6. Purpose: gratitude shows purpose, self control, productivity and peace.

7. Show love and compassion: love, compassion, hospitality and kindness to one’s self and others create no room for anger, resentment and negative energies. The channelised energy gives way to create space for new opportunity.

8. Courage: To refuse to get stuck in a state of a comfort zone, out of perceived predictable bubble of the safe haven is one daring act in itself. Courage is clarity of the mind.

9. Explore: The next step is to refuse to be a hostage of current circumstances. To invalidate unavailable resources and jump on to explore new horizons.

10. Obstacles:
My pen journey so far had been a hurdle race too. With curiosity, gratitude, zest, optimism, somewhat self control, some social intelligence and patience as my hurdles.

I am still learning to to over come the hurdle of self-discipline and facing extreme criticism.

There had been a few lessons that I have learnt so far. An important one being, I am not a cup of tea for everyone, nor I am selling ice cream.

This critical thinking has helped me revise my belief system. I am trying to fly against opposing winds. My speed is slow to get hold of lost control. That does not mean I am giving up. I am just trying to rise above every negativity.

I am unique and different trying to experiment, experience and learn something new. I am out of the projected comfort zone of instant success meter. I am enjoying the freedom, courage and creativity in a new way.

I believe in myself, my abilities and my caring attitude. I wish the same peace, joy and happiness for you.

In a journey of self evolution, a big thank-you for hopping on..
I appreciate

A prayer of blessing your way …
stay tuned …

Originally published at

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


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