8 Steps to Letting Go of Jealousy

Addressing the feeling of jealousy before it destroys the very thing you are so desperately holding on to.

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Jealousy is a keen observer but looks for all the wrong signs.

~H. L. Mencken

Does every sideways glance your partner takes bother you? Are you obsessing over their texts and phone calls? If so, it is time to address the feeling of jealousy before it destroys the very thing you are so desperately holding on to.

First, it is important to discern if your jealousy is a habitual behavior or if its justifiable concern.

If there is not a pattern of jealousy, then the feelings you a have may be signaling a red flag with this current partner. If jealousy is a recurring pattern, then this is something to be addressed.

We all deserve balanced and loving relationships, and sometimes it is our deep-rooted behaviors that prevent us from actualizing them.

Jealousy is the fear of losing something or someone. Unlike envy which is coveting something, someone else has, jealousy is an outcropping of our personal feeling of insecurity. Lacking confidence in who we are bleeds into our relationship undermining the trust of the relationship.

Overcoming jealousy is accomplished by changing our emotional reactions and behavior. If you want to jump off of the carousel of jealously here are:

8 Steps to Letting Go of Jealousy

  1. It begins with awareness and recognizing you have an issue. If your brain tends to work overtime, always generating new anxieties and worries, this is a common cause for manifesting negative responses. When the unknown arises, i.e., your husband is late, your overactive brain begins to overthink, creating the worse case scenarios, jealously being one of those. If this is your thinking style, you can start here, by identifying the core beliefs that trigger your reactions.
  2. Boost your self-esteem and self-worth. Learning to bolster ourselves is essential to self-care resulting in raising our self-esteem and self-worth by eliminating self- criticism, introducing self-compassion, focusing on our strengths, and accepting compliments even though it is difficult. By doing so, will change our inner dialogs of insecurity, and contribute to our ability to handle those triggers before they happen.
  3. Surround yourself with stable and rational people who will not allow you to wallow in unfounded jealousy.
  4. Communicate with your partner to have a conscious relationship. With the commitment of growth to both your partnership and individually, if needed, find a mediator to help you develop tools needed for open communication.
  5. Trust your partner. They are innocent until proven guilty, and if there are zero reasons to be distrusting, remember thoughts are things; you may create the very situation you are afraid to have.
  6. Don’t compare yourself to others. Letting go of social media’s power is a great way to end unrealistic comparisons.
  7. Don’t play games. Trying to make your partner jealous could start a spiral, you do not want. It is easy to spot a red car when you are always thinking of a red car. And it is easy to be jealous if you are still thinking of reasons to be. We become what we think, so watch what you think.
  8. Don’t forgo reality for a false scenario of your making Jealousy is an emotional reaction when we believe situations in our minds that are not true. When we change our beliefs, we can change what our imagination sees. By doing so, we can eliminate the destruction of jealous reactions.

To end the cycle of jealousy, we must first let go of the anxiety, negative projections, and tension. As harmful as they can be, we can become addicted to those feelings. If we are serious about changing our behaviors, we must make a shift.

It is within our power to shift our perspective. It is our response-ability. Not only is romantic jealousy, a waste of energy, it is also the kiss of death. Nip it in the bud; the power lies within.

Surrounded by the flames of jealousy, the jealous one winds up, like the scorpion turning the poisoned sting against himself.

~Friedrich Nietzsche

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