It can be devastating when you have been married for 40 years then your spouse finds someone they describe when a heated argument erupts they say is nicer, more attractive and more physically fit than you.
After a painful divorce, it’s very tension- filled trying to find someone who will not repeat those same mistakes as your once better-half did, or in your mind at least. After all, we only have one life to live and at the age of 59, it’s usually hard to even find someone who doesn’t have health problems, excess baggage of some sort or so set in their ways you can not deal with emotionally trying to re-build a broken life with, completely from scratch again.
There are 8 questions most divorced women yearn to be asked when starting a new relationship.
Are you in this for romance, a friend or someone to marry and settle down with?
Most women especially, want romance first then maybe attachment. It’s so important for them to know where a man stands from the get-go. Is he looking for a one night stand, a good friend or a life-long commitment?
Who was to blame? whose fault was it?
People are leery of prospective dates that jump from mate to mate. They look for stability when thinking about dating again. Knowing you were the one hurt gives them some comfort in knowing you were content in a relationship and not always wanting more than the other person had to offer and that your stable and really wanted a prior relationship to be a life-long success.
Are you emotionally still “attacked” to your ex?
Most people dread the thought that they will be having to compete with an ex. If there’s emotional attachment then there could be problems down the road in making a firm commitment or there could also be comparisons to the other person.
What’s your profession?
Are you retired or still working? Everyone usually wants to know they are not about to get involved with someone with a bad past like a drug addiction, alcohol-abuse or some type of ailment that prevents them from working and doing day to day activities. After all, leaving a bad relationship and entering in to another, most is not looking for someone sick or with major problems to deal with.
What about your children, are they ready to know your dating again?
This is most divorcee’s top- of- the- list question. They do not want another difficult situation to deal with. When you marry someone, you marry their children to a degree and if the children are cool with a new partner it makes it much easier to adapt for future commitments.
Would you ever consider moving or are you attached also to your home and the area in which you live? Some people, especially those that has been married a decade or more has a comfort zone for their home and surroundings. They feel awkward and very uncomfortable anywhere else. This can be very difficult in a relationship when the other party feels also the same way.
What are your hobbies? Do you like to travel? How do you relax and unwind?
Everyone loves something, whether it be curling up on the couch with a good novel, watching cooking shows, westerns, boating, travel or spending time gardening or with nature. It’s a good thing before entering into a relationship to know what the other person enjoys for off and down time.
Where is your favorite holiday destination?
Everyone, all year long looks forward to vacation. Some people does not like to travel. It’s very important to know what your mate likes or dislikes, especially on things that you look forward to each year. Compatibility is super important for prospected relationships to go to the next level. Minor things to some are major to others when entering in a new relationship after a painful divorce.
Originally published at medium.com