Finding the Right Mentor Can Unleash Your Potential

Life is too short to learn all of its lessons ourselves. Successful people use what they know to improve who they know, and then continue the feedback loop in perpetuity. Mentors play a significant role because they can offer their perspective at key career and life inflection points. Mentorships nurture both the mentee’s and mentor’s professional skill set.

According to a survey of professionals and small business owners conducted by UPS, 70% of entrepreneurs with mentor relationships had businesses that endured for five or more years. That rate was twice that of businesses that didn’t receive the benefits of a mentor. Receiving guidance and perspective from those with more experience materially impacts our ability to make more informed decisions.

7 Tips for Earning Mentors that Will Change Your Life

An impactful mentor provides clarity on options and better ways to approach a particular situation or decision. While receiving advice and sharing perspective on secrets of success are important, mentors often provide benefits that are intangible. They believe in your potential when others may not, boost your confidence by providing support when you have moments of self-doubt, and motivate you to pursue greatness. With that being said, the idea of approaching and finding a new mentor can be intimidating and overwhelming.

So, here are a few steps for thoughtfully engaging mentors and building impactful mentor relationships:

1. Identify People You Admire

Most successful people are purposefully busy. They lead hectic lifestyles. Time is a valued commodity. Many of your high-potential mentors are constantly balancing a multitude of priorities. Case in point: Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, mentioned in an interview that he is so busy and short of time that he needs to find ways to optimize brushing his teeth. As such, consider reaching out to several qualified mentors at once. This will inoculate you from being discouraged, when several or most contacts do not respond with the enthusiasm you desire. Make a list of the best prospective mentors before committing to a single mentor. Rather than quickly contacting people who have achieved the professional success you seek to emulate, invest time to identify people who genuinely inspire you with their life’s work.

Find someone with skills and strengths that you admire and list the common experiences or characteristics that you value. You can admire the C-level executives at a diverse group of companies, learn from mid-career professionals, and ultimately become a true disciple of leaders you respect.

2. Failing to Plan Is Planning to Fail

Just as you carefully review the specifications of a new car before making the purchase, make sure you thoroughly research the life of your potential mentor. Prior to reaching out, block time to read everything you can find about their personal and professional life. Mentioning a volunteer board position or an excerpt from one of their favorite books may be why an initial email is acknowledged or follow-up voice message is returned. Outlining the mentor’s character and accomplishments beforehand will help make your outreach more genuine and tactful. Reverse engineer the qualities, strengths, and accomplishments you want in yourself after assessing your blind spots and weaknesses.

3. Recognize that Mentorship is Not a One-Way Street

The notion that you will do all the learning from the mentor and have nothing to offer is a myth. You can learn something from everyone. Perhaps your knowledge of social media and digital presence is an acute interest of your prospective mentor. Mentorships are formed in all types of ways; there is no one path to follow. Like Einstein said, never strive for success but rather be of personal value. Learn something new and then prepare to share that knowledge.

With every interaction, strive to offer them something in return—whether it’s just a factoid related to an industry challenge, acknowledgement of recent news affecting their company, or a few thoughts about where your energy or skills may be helpful.

4. Our Fears Are More Dangerous Than Our Dangers

People do business with people. All great countries, companies, and people started from nothing. Similarly, your admired mentor’s success is a product of failures and lessons learned. Recognize that without any proactive action, opportunities will not magically fall into your lap. As Abraham Lincoln aptly said, “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

With that being said, expect that it will take several attempts for your mentor to acknowledge you. They do not owe you a reply. Attract their interest, earn their respect, and communicate so that they feel interacting with you is worth their time. Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing the fear of rejection are precursors for long-term mentorship benefits. Fear is an intangible. You can both create it and destroy it.

5. Let the Relationship Grow Organically

Friendships and trust are earned. Mentorships develop progressively and it’s important to recognize that they will take time. It won’t take just days or weeks, but likely months and years, to move a new contact from an acquaintance to a friend. Mentorship will blossom when you demonstrate honesty, friendship, and respect.

Don’t expect your mentor to do anything or even provide you with an explanation. Instead, share your opinion and assessment before asking for their validation. Set periodic reminders to provide your prospective mentor with updates, while also not being too aggressive.