Community//

7 Things You Should Know About Joy

What I learned from overcoming a painful past

“Joy is a new mindset that is the precursor to your highest potential”

Jolynn Swafford

1 | You should know what joy is first. Joy is a mindset. Once you choose to live with that mindset, you can tap into your fullest potential. Joy is already within you, you were born with it. We just tend to have “joy interruptions” that keep us from staying in that place. Think of this new mindset as a new way of living.  Joy is different than happiness. Joy is a mile deep and a mile wide. Happiness is an inch deep and a mile wide. Happiness scratches the surface compared to joy.  I think joy is just simply infinite, and it’s something that can serve other people. It’s contagious and long-lasting, whereas happiness is temporary. Probably the most critical difference, is that happiness can be lost in an instant. 

2 | Happiness depends on external factors. Some of those factors you can’t control. Joy is permanent and built from within. It is independent of external circumstances. I like to say that when you have joy, you don’t need anything else. Everything else is a bonus.

3 | Where your focus goes, energy flows. If you focus on the negative – you will experience more negative. You have to focus on the potential opportunities and the anticipation of an unlimited future. And that’s exciting, especially when you can apply faith. Living by faith and not by sight becomes a little bit of a game. Life becomes a fun little game instead of the battle of ups and downs. Joy reminds us to have more believe in an empowering future, while having fun. Joy is flow.

As a coach, a lot of people come to me a say “I am stuck”. If you feel stuck, the key is to understand that saying “I am stuck” is the same thing as saying “I am afraid”. Ask yourself a better question, such as “I’m wondering, what can I do to make progress?”

4 | A strategy I practice is gratitude on the daily. Practice gratitude in different ways to awaken the true spirit of joy. A lot of people write in gratitude journals in the morning, which is great, but when it starts to become a task, it’s time to change. Also, be sure to practice gratitude all day, see the little things and the beauty all around you. Get your heart so deep in gratitude that you cry tears of joy just noticing the wonder all around you. That is true joy.

Joy is every minute of every day.

5 |  Balance is a myth. Stress is sign that you need to put yourself first. Stress occurs when you expect one thing and get another. I give you permission to put yourself first. It’s ok. It’s like on the airplane. They don’t say put your mask on all your kids and your grandmother and your mother and your husband and then put yours on!

They say to put your mask on first because if you don’t have oxygen, you are no good to anybody. So you have to put the oxygen mask on, like it’s your fuel tank, like you are your number one priority. And over time, your family will start to see that that’s what you’re doing, that you need to put your mask on. But nobody’s going to come put it on your face. Nobody’s going to go here, “You look a little low of oxygen”. Let me give you mine. That’s just not going to happen, especially for women. So, I would just say I give you permission to put yourself first. I think a lot of women just need someone to say, “Hey sister, it’s okay to just put your oxygen mask on.”

6 | Set boundaries. I am very careful about who I surround myself with. This is simple – you become the average of the five people you spend time with – so make sure they are raising your game. Also, guard the door to your mind.  That includes the news, movies, social.

7 | Decide to not live in the past.That is the key. One of the key components of joy is that joy is in the present moment and in the future. Joy doesn’t occur in the past. There was a moment I decided “I refuse to replay the old movies of my past”. When you see a really bad movie, do you go watch it over and over again? No! You don’t! I don’t live in yesterday. I don’t live in three months ago. I live in today and I imagine an exciting, compelling and empowering future.

Like right now in this beautiful present moment where my heart’s beating; I’m breathing; I’m talking to you. I’m just in the moment.

If you are interested in expanding your joy, you can meet me here.

“Joy is every minute of every day.” | Jolynn

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.