Introverts can get overwhelmed by the extroverted dating world.
In my private facebook group where almost 800 Introverted Women gather, I see many women who have all but given up on dating and love. Yet, many of these women want to be in a relationship. They rely on themselves and to do life alone. And even though they have become so self-sufficient, their biggest desire is to have someone they can lean on. They want that special connection and intimacy in their lives.
Some have become so accustomed to going at it alone that they will not invest in themselves to get the support they need. But some do and see amazing shifts in their lives. Sometimes these woman have so many dates from working with me, it is overwhelming for them as introverts. I help them navigate their down time so they can stay out there and continue to attract awesome men.
I help introverted women by guiding them to own their power and steering them way from common dating advice that has them going into a party and act as if it is a business networking event where they need to connect with as many warm bodies as possible. Many dating coaches don’t get that this would be nightmare scenario for an introvert. One night like this can cause an introvert to collapse on the couch for the next five days out of exhaustion and never try again. Yes, introverts can be a little dramatic, in their own quiet way. As a dating coach for Introverted women, I focus on how to be more authentic and bring your true self into the dating experience. (Which, by the way, is what a high-quality guy will want anyway!)
Introverted women are delicate flowers. They need to be treated with care and respect. I get it because I am one. So here are the top 7 reasons you need to hire a dating coach if you are an introverted woman:
1- That Awesome Guy Will Not Magically Show Up At Your Doorstep
I know you love British murder mysteries on PBS (I mean who will tire from the eye candy that is Endeavor), but Shaun Evans is not going to show up at your doorstep unannounced and ask you out for tea. Although his look alike might be a guy you can swipe right on OK Cupid! Yes my fragile introverted flower, you need to write a dating profile, or rewrite the one that is attracting “Hey Sexy” texts, and get out of the house. A dating coach will help you by challenging you to connect with men either online or off. A great dating coach be there for you to guide you away from the sometimes titillating exchanges from those bad boys that you love to complain about, and lead you toward the quiet nice guys that match your true values.
2. Your Extroverted Girlfriends Will Not Help You
Guess what, your extroverted girlfriends love that you are not the competition. Awful thing to say right? Aren’t you tired of being everyone’s wing woman? Isn’t it time you took the lead role in your own life. A coach will point out when you are stepping back and help you determine who your best wing women are. But more important, a coach will be honest with you and already has your ideal outcome in mind. A good coach holds the highest vision for you, without any jealousy or a hidden agenda.
3. Quitting is Not the Answer
As an introvert, it is easy to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I have seen it time and time again. An introverted women has some negative exchanges on a dating app and then deletes the app. Creepers are everywhere and a dating app is all that much easier for them to thrive because they can remain anonymous. But many women have also found love in a dating app. The key is to stay in the game and not give up. A dating coach can help you with that.
4. You Seem Aloof or Unapproachable
Since introverts are not outwardly focused, they can come off as aloof or not interested but rarely see this in themselves. A coach will help you break down social exchanges and help you see things in a new way.
5. Your Ability to Socialize is Non-Existent
Since you may have a low threshold for socializing, you are more apt to forgo social events altogether and stay home with Netflix and your dog. A coach will push you to get out there and date!
6. You Let Life Happen To You
If, in your past relationships, you kept hearing complaints about your lack of social prowess or your lack of desire to hang out with his friends, it might be because you have not been clear on the values are most important to you. As an introvert, it is easy to fall prey to charming, charismatic, extroverted guy who will seek you out because then you don’t have to do any of the awkward work of meeting people. Then, after a couple of months or longer, once the magic potion of chemistry wears off, you start to realize he doesn’t get you. You start to thinking that you are the problem, and you are, but not in the way that you think. The problem is that you have not taken the time to see what is most important to you. A good coach will focus on your values and what your needs are. Clarity is key!
7. You Think Being an Introvert is a Problem
You dated an extrovert that did not get you or you didn’t know how introversion has affected your dating life? You think that being an introvert is a huge obstacle and you do not see how it can be overcome. In truth, your introspection and sensitivity are huge advantages for maintaining and sustaining a deep and meaningful relationship. A good coach will help you see how amazing you already are and own it!
I hope this list provides some clarity for you on whether you need a coach to bring love into your life if you are an introverted woman. Please share and comment below! I would love to know your thoughts!
Originally published at www.missintrovert.com.
Originally published at medium.com