Confidence fits that group of hard-to-build and easy-to-break things. That is, when you don’t trust yourself or when you trust very little, it can be difficult for you to start being a confident person. Despite the work it takes to build and increase your confidence, a misfortune can deflate it like a balloon.
As humans, we can work on almost everything that affects us in life. Self-confidence is not exempt. I read that, even the people we think that have enviable lives and seem very confident, also have their moments of doubts and fears. This means, the issue doesn’t just affect a few. The main difference is that some people work to overcome their fears and others get stuck in the mud.
I want to share with you seven keys that can help you build, boost or strengthen your self-confidence. Some keys that have helped me too.
I usually see tips on how to do this or that, how to be this or that. But if you analyze it well, you’ll notice that no tip will perform miracles on its own when you have no determination to comply or the will to improve.
If you want to be a more confident person, you have to commit to your improvement process. You have to be determined to comply and take the necessary actions. That’s the biggest secret or miracle. But you can call it whatever you want.
2. Surround yourself with the right people.
Many of our problems stem from surrounding ourselves with the wrong people. Lack of self- confidence issues too. If you surround yourself with people who make you feel like you’re not worth it, like you’re not enough and you don’t deserve good things, you’re doing your life a skinny favor.
People are able to bring out the best and the worst in you. Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you. Identify and stay away from those who keep you stagnant. You can easily identify them because when you are with them your own body tells you. You feel bad.
3. Internal and external coherence.
It doesn’t matter if you have a lot or little. What you have should reflect how you want to feel. For example, when choosing your wardrobe, choose or buy garments that make you feel confident and comfortable.
In my own case, the clothes, no matter how pretty and elegant they look to others, first of all, they have to make me feel comfortable. When I feel comfortable with what I’m wearing, I feel more confident too. You could try to figure out what things increase your internal and external coherence. It can be as simple as keeping your environment clean and tidy.
4. Knowledge and information.
Misinformation is one of the biggest causes of insecurities. Knowing how things work, how the world does or knowing what’s expected of us in the workplace are some of the things that can help strengthen self-confidence.
For that reason, just ask when you don’t know or understand something. Sometimes it’s embarrassing but it’s worse to aggravate things because you didn’t ask. How can you do a great job if you don’t even know what job you have to do or what results are expected of you? Ask, learn, practice.
5. Treat yourself well.
Most of the time, we are our worst enemies and we treat ourselves harshly. When someone you love does something wrong to you, you try to find the way to forgive. When it comes to you it can’t be any different.
You have to love yourself enough and forgive yourself when you make a mistake or when things don’t go the way you wish. You’re a human being. You can’t do everything perfectly. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself, learn and move on.
This means that you have to stop chasing the way you can be totally confident. As I said before, even the people you admire for their success have aspects that make them feel insecure.
The trick is to do things in spite of the fears. Try to enjoy the road, relax and don’t impose on yourself the idea that you have to be perfect. The right people will see your shadows but will appreciate your lights too. Relax and live.
7. Believe in yourself.
Normally, what we have inside is what manifests itself outside. Learn to believe in yourself, to believe in your choices, abilities and skills.
Maybe you live in an environment where those around you make you feel like you’re worthless, like everything you do is wrong, like you don’t deserve anyone’s love and what you have to say isn’t important. Well, you should know from today that everyone, absolutely everyone is gifted. We all have something good to offer.
If you can read this post, you can also find out what makes you special (in the good way). We all have flaws and they’re usually more complicated to change. Perhaps you have to work harder on your virtues. Believe in yourself. All it takes is will.
This post was originally published in spanish here.