Kathy, who is a typical middle class married women working in a private firm, has to come home every night and face several day to day chaos – from her apartment’s non-functional lift to water scarcity; load shading to encroached parking lot; from office politics to shouting security guard and what not.
Kathy got settled a few months back with her husband and it was not too long when these chaos has become part of her daily routine and she accepted it as what life has to offer. Kathy kept putting honest efforts in rectifying, complaining and sometimes taking things on her own hand. The last time I met Kathy six month ago, she wasn’t looking very happy after coming back from office and detailed out many things to me. She also complained that while she is fine to complete her work on time and come back home – she has to go through a lot in any day and she wanted to understand how she can handle the situation while still remain positive. She admitted that she was intending to create positive environment at her home and to spend her quality time with her family when she returns from office.
Kathy’s problems seem very generic as if anyone could face them. After I met her last month, she was looking very cheerful and strong from when I saw her earlier. When I spoke to her, Kathy gave these 7 pieces of advice which she now follows –
Look at the Bright Side
All of us has faced situations where you try to solve an issue but you feel helpless or the solution is out of our control. These situations always have a bright side – which you should look far. For example,
- During load shading she now lights up the candles and brings some dessert / ice cream out of her refrigerator, sits with her loved ones and relish the quite moments.
- Apartment lift isn’t working – no problem – it’s an opportunity to burn your additional calories re-energize yourself and take up the ladder and once you do it believe me you feel like a winner and happy.
- Office politics – you know you are capable and for some reasons it not being recognized and you are done – it may be a good time to think of a career switch after all our efforts must be recognized. It may not be simple – but keeping this thought will keep your moral high believing you can switch if the situation worsens.
Choose the Right Companions
Office or the society where you live in – one of the major causes of you stress can be a neighbor or a colleague sitting next to you. Be careful when you choose a company to spend time with – staying with positive people brings a lot of positive energy and also fills you with the thought of taking some good qualities from them and bring those back home.
What Goes Around Comes Around – Spread Positivity Around You
As they say – what you give is what you get. Try to bring a smile on a child face, help any poor on the way or donate blood. These minor act of charities flourishes inner piece and joy within you which lasts longer and help you forget any major setback emotional or otherwise.
Art of Attaching and Detaching
Staying detached does not mean that you own nothing, it rather means that nothing should own you. It’s not being away from everything – it says to stay close with everything but do not let it consume you and own you – this is truly applicable to things like social media, smartphones and also to someone’s unwarranted opinion about you.
Forgiveness and art of letting go will increase our ability to rise above the day to day challenges. Holding negativity for too long can cause serious issues with the mental health. Many have faced the worse situation such as job loss, breakups, loyalty tests etc. and they have gone through the hard times – this brings about the intense feeling of resentment – as Buddha also said – ‘resentment is a poison’ – let the inner part of your take care of the feelings and emotions caused by the outer world.
Introspect – acknowledge how far you have come from where you started
If you are going through some serious challenges which is occupying your time and making you feel weak – remember that all of us has our part of sorrows, struggles and griefs – try to keep a feeling of it inside your heart i.e. how far you have come from where you have started. This small feeling in your heart will keep your heads high and help you walk with confidence. This sense of confidence will allow you to surpass small challenges in life with the fact that you have already battled before and came out with flying colors.
….And lastly, remember – ‘there will not be any particular day which is truly perfect in all of its senses. So, stay fulfilled, stay positive.’