In our current day and age, the big questions remain, why do relationships fail? How can you succeed in your relationship? Or succeed in future relationships?
Couples who are likely to split have more negative interactions that outweigh the positive ones. Thus, causing the partners to criticize each other, show no support of each other, and do not demonstrate affection or appreciation. Successful relationships in a whole have a balance between positive and negative feelings and the dynamics of the balance are what separate happy couples from dissatisfied ones.
This shows that being in a relationship often means acknowledging that making your partner happy and helping them feel loved, safe, appreciated, respected is not always about you and how you receive love. So rather than asking what you can get out of being with your partner, shift your mindset to how you can contribute positively to their life and vice versa.
Below are 6 ways to increase the positive interactions in your relationship:
Show your partner that you are listening and paying attention to them. For example, your partner wants to discuss an issue with a co-worker. Stop what you are doing, make eye contact, and show that what they are saying is important and that you are here.
There are many ways of showing affection to your partner; a small tender gesture can go a long way. So in the morning, before getting out of bed, remind them of how much they mean to you by saying “I love you and appreciate you”. Hold hands while watching movies, help with daily chores are all small gestures that go a long way.
Show You Care
Little things that you do daily are all acts of care. Take the time out of your busy day to check in on them by writing a short email, a text message, or even a voicemail. If your partner is worried about something, express your concern verbally. “It sounds like you had a really rough day today” “How can I make your life better or easier this week?” Let your partner know that it matters to you when they are worried or concerned.
Take the time to be grateful for your partner’s positive attributes and always count your blessings. Think about what you liked and appreciated about your partner when you first met. For example, “I’m grateful that we built this beautiful life together.” Let them know what you appreciate, be specific. Recall the ways in which you did things for each other that were helpful and caring. Thank them for the things that they consistently do for you.
You may not always like or agree with what your partner has to say, however, you can still have and show respect. Relationships are about compromising, so it is vital for you and your partner to always understand one another. That is the first step to acceptance. Do not deny the negative experiences but indeed look at them for what they were and take the lessons out. Remember that “our perspective on life determines our reality.”
Share Your Joys
Share your joys with your partner on the relationship, express your feelings when you feel excited and happy. Be playful, joke, and enjoy each other’s company. Go back in time and remember some old memories of when you two first met and how great it was. Find ways within your busy schedule to spend time together. For example, set up weekly dates either for a quick lunch or dinner. Try to capture great memories and share those joys with your partner.
By constantly applying the above approaches to your daily life, being aware of the steps needed to be taken you are increasing your chances of succeeding at the relationship.