What do you think when the word narcissism comes into your mind? It probably seems like a personality disorder which is not so pleasant. You also don’t want to imagine how painful it can get when you are brought up by a narcissistic parent
Most parents always want the best for their children. They take their children to the best schools; provide the whole lot for their children. Spoil them with gifts, protect them from harm, control their every move but to some point they end up overdoing it.
A narcissistic parent is unable to handle the fact that his or her children need independence as adults. Such a parent never wants to lose control of his or her children. He or she feels threatened when a child leaves. In addition to this, the child is often accused of being advised by outsiders. Narcissism is about control and seeking attention.
Any individual who is narcissist tends to seek self-approval and ego from others. Narcissism is also associated with traits such as manipulation, emotional abuse, behaving childish and speaking with rage. Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the discipline and instructions of the lord.”
If you realize that your parent has the above individualities, it is not usually out of hate, but he or she never wants to lose control over you. However, this should not weigh you down. Strive to do the following.
1. Work Hard in School
Always give your best when it comes to studies. Nelson Mandela put it best “Education is the best tool that can be used to change the world.” The only difference between you and your parents is time. They only came to this world before you and that makes all the difference. Always perform well in your studies. Your parents will probably think that you are better than them and this will make you have your way.
2. Understand what narcissism is
You may be the best in all spheres of life but it happens that they never appreciate you. You top in your class. You receive prizes for being the best in athletics and suddenly, they want you to be the school captain. This should not pull you down. You only need to realize that the problem is not you but them. Keep on keeping on by doing your best. You have your own life to live. You will be doing yourself a big favor by realizing that you are not doing things for them but for you
3. Do Things on Your Own Silently
Sometimes it may even become worse when you try to explain to your parents about your passions. In most cases, a narcissistic parent will never give consent to your desires. They are sure of what is good for you but they fail to realize that they are not you. If you realize that your parent is of this kind, never reveal what you are up to. Do whatever you believe in behind closed doors. If you fail, you will learn from your mistakes. Only share your endeavors when you start to see results.
4. Always Play Safe.
Sometimes your parents will go ahead to do things for you without consulting you. Should you refuse to accept their offer, it becomes ugly. They start to withdraw their support, they talk to their friends on how you have become rebellious and disrespectful. They start to criticize your every move and you always feel low.
If only they practiced being open minded and stopped being judgmental. At this juncture, your parents have even made you feel like you owe them an apology. Almost certainly, they even own some assets which have taken years to accumulate. At this moment they have sworn to disinherit you. Since you are not independent yet, you can opt to listen and do as your parents suggest but never abandon your dream.
5. Strive for Financial Independence
As a young adult, you always want to make your own decisions based on your passions and preferences. It is quite horrible and sad to leave with a parent who is always controlling your every move. A parent who never gives you space and who is always on the lookout to find out what you are doing.
Some parents even control their children even when they are mature enough to get married. Worse still, they make a choice of who should be a life partner. To avoid such scenarios, strive for financial independence. This will mean that you don’t have to stay in your parent’s house anymore. You will do things as you please and at your own convenient time.
6. Avoid Drugs
Taking drugs such as alcohol will only delay your success. Alcohol is a depressant and in most cases, you will not be focused. You are bound to postpone all your plans each day. Additionally, this will mean staying in your parents’ house for more years. It takes a lot of discipline to be successful. Taking drugs will lead you to nowhere. Save every penny you get and in no time, you will be heading to freedom.
You do not have to discuss your parents with everyone. Remember that these are your parents and you need to respect them. They may not share in your dreams, neither are they to blame for your failure. With or without their support, always be respectful and forgiving. As the saying goes, you never know what you have until you lose it. Obey your parents and love them as they are. Put in mind that you are the master of your own destiny. Above all seeks Gods intervention.