You know he or she’s the one. It’s been a couple of years since your relationship began. You know each other too well. You know your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, and he or she knows yours. You’ve been through thick and thin, good times and bad times. And now, you’re both ready to take your relationship to the next level.
With nearly 50 percent of married couples ending up in divorce, marriage is undoubtedly a serious topic that requires a lot of thinking.
So, before you tie the knot, here are things that you have to consider:
Your expectations about the married life.
You have to be aware of the expectations you’re bringing into the marriage. While the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone you love is heart-warming, know that you won’t always feel “in love” during your marriage. From petty things like maintaining a clean house to major decisions about finances and raising children, there will always be disagreements and fights that are bound to happen.
Your partner’s family.
You probably know your partner too well. But how well do you know his or her family? How was your partner like growing up? What were the values, traditions, and beliefs that are observed within their family? Many problems or issues a person had growing up can resurface in his or her marriage. Learning about these things help you set realistic expectations, and at the same time, creates a deeper level of trust and understanding between the two of you.
Conflicts in marriage usually arise from contrasting beliefs and values. You don’t always have to be on the same page when it comes to your views about family, politics, religion, and other things. What is important is that you respect each other’s beliefs and values. This is the foundation of a happy and successful married life.
The way you will raise your children.
You may have different views about raising kids – how to discipline them, who will take care of them in case both of you decide to work full-time, etc. When a couple starts to have kids, things totally change and you may be surprised how raising a 2-week old baby who is supposed to be just sleeping all day long can be so time-consuming and energy-draining.
Your personal goals and careers.
Just because you got married doesn’t mean you can no longer pursue your personal dreams. It is very important, prior to marriage, to talk about important topics like this. Decide on how you can make both ends meet especially once you have kids. It’s possible to grow together and as individual persons when both of you are supportive of each other.
You and your partner should agree with important topics like finances. Money matters are among the most common causes of conflicts in marriage as they relate to many things like decision-making, control, power, and trust. During the course of your marriage, you will most likely go through tough times like a family emergency. It’s important to talk about how you are going to cope with such things. You can always think over self-employed payday loans to cover emergencies and major purchases but it is also important to focus on having enough savings.
You should also make sure that you’re on the same page when it comes to financial caution. What’re the most that each of you is willing to spend on? If you have existing debts, what’s going to be the plan once you get married? Are you going to keep your resources separate? Who’s going to take care of major expenses like the mortgage and car loans? If you are going to talk about these things early on, you are saving your marriage from lots of potential conflicts.
Getting married is a decision that you simply don’t do overnight or when you’re generally feeling happy about your relationship. There are many things to consider, from your expectations about marriage to your partner’s family background, beliefs, values, raising children, personal goals, and financial views. You don’t always have to be on the same page when it comes to these topics. What is important is that you understand and respect each other’s differences.